How to Breathe Your Way to Inner Calm

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“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” ~Etty Hillesum

Today I’d like to discuss something that I’ve found to be very important: our breathing.

“What do you mean our breathing? Don’t we do that all the time? Why do I need to read a blog post about it?”

Yes, we do this involuntarily, but did you know that there are different ways we breathe? Improper breathing can affect how we feel, mentally and physically, and, in reverse, how we feel can lead to improper breathing (if, for example, we’re stressed).

Imagine what’s going on in the following scenarios:

You’re being chased by a grizzly bear.

Chances are, you’re breathing rapidly, taking shallow breaths (drawing in minimal air to the lungs), expelling a lot of effort, and heavily expanding your chest. This is known as thoracic breathing, or chest breathing.

Thoracic breathing switches on our sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for that fight-or-flight response we get when we sense any kind of danger, stress, or threat.

Chest breathing doesn’t optimally use our lungs (via our diaphragm), and can even lead to hyperventilation.

This type of breathing isn’t necessarily bad, since it gives us the ability to run from that grizzly bear and can help during vigorous exercise. But we often do this unnecessarily, and it makes us feel more anxious and stressed.

You just did something relaxing and feel very calm.

Chances are, you’re breathing slowly (drawing in optimal air to the lungs via the diaphragm), are expelling minimal effort, and are expanding your abdomen/belly as you take in air. This is known as as diaphragmatic breathing.

This type of breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which has the opposite effect of the fight-or-flight response, inducing a feeling of calm and relaxation.

Diaphragmatic breathing, or deep/belly breathing, is beneficial to both of our minds and bodies. In fact, it has scientifically been shown to help those suffering with PTSDpaindepressionanxiety, and other debilitating conditions.

There’s a reason why it has been featured on the websites of NPRHarvardTIMENew York TimesNational Institutes of Health, and The Wall Street Journal.

As someone who tends to exhibit the fight-or-flight response at unnecessary and non-threatening times (a work in progress!), I can personally attest to how deep breathing reduces the adverse effects of tension, stress, and anxiety.

Back before I learned about deep belly breathing, I often went into fight-or-flight mode when I felt uncertain and worried about my relationships, finances, school, meeting deadlines, or my health, and it only made things worse.

I didn’t want to continually work my body and mind into an unnecessary frenzy over situations that didn’t warrant it.

Everything changed when I began my journey into the world of yoga.

To help us improve our breathing, my teacher would often tell us to lie down on the ground and place one hand on our belly and the other on our heart. She’d then instruct us to visualize the breath expanding in our belly as we inhale, through contraction of our diaphragm, and notice our belly slowly deflating as we exhale.

We would switch between inhaling through the nose and exhaling out through the mouth, as well as sighing out through our mouth as we exhaled. (Side note: I highly recommend sighing out through your mouth to release tension—it feels great! Make some noise with it too!)

By the end of the class, we would work up to pranayama, which is the ancient practice of controlling the breath, and I would find myself feeling a sense of calm. If you’re interested, you can read more about pranayama here, and this TIME article provides some pranayama exercises as well.

I’ve taken the breathing exercises I learned in my yoga classes and have started practicing them in my daily life. If I feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or restless, I take a few minutes to perform some belly breathing and I instantly feel more at ease.

It’s important to note that deep breathing isn’t a cure-all and won’t get rid of the underlying problems that are causing you stress. But it can at least provide you with a temporary sense of calm, which will help you find clarity and think rationally in difficult situations.

If you’d like to give deep breathing a try, you may want to start with one of these exercises.

General Deep Breathing

This is a simple technique you can use anywhere. Find a place to sit or lie down and take a moment to breathe as you normally would.

When you’re ready, breathe in slowly through your nose and feel your abdomen expand fully. I personally like to close my eyes, but you can leave them open if you prefer.

Now breathe out slowly through your mouth or nose (whichever feels better) and feel your abdomen slowly deflate. If you’d like, you can place your hands on your belly so you can physically feel what it’s doing.

I recommend trying this breathing technique for at least eight rounds of inhaling and exhaling. Play around with doing it for shorter or longer periods of time and breathing in/out through your mouth/nose, and make sure to do what works best for you.

Four-Seven-Eight Technique

This practice makes use of counting while you inhale and exhale to maximize belly breathing. In this technique, you inhale through the nose and count to four, hold your breath for a count of seven, and then exhale for a count of eight. You can find a guided video here.

Visual Breathing Guide

This is a fantastic video that provides a visual reference to sync your breaths to. It could be an invaluable resource to help you slow down, calm down, and take deep breaths.

*Note: If you ever find yourself feeling worse or hyperventilating after doing any breathing exercises, please stop practicing them. We are all unique, and what may work for one person may not work for another, so please be compassionate with yourself.*

There you have it: why and how we can use our breathing to our advantage, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Breathing isn’t just a biological survival mechanism; we can also use it as a tool to help induce relaxation and reduce the effects of stress, anxiety, and tension.

Who knew how much power our bellies hold? Go forth and give your belly (and your overall self) some much-needed, deep love!

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About Nina Hosmane

Nina has a Ph.D. in Biology and is also a certified 200 hours yoga teacher. Aside from science and yoga, she enjoys blogging for Nina Is Inspired, reading, meditating, playing video games, exercising, and spending quality time with her loved ones.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

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By |April 30th, 2017|Commercial|0 Comments

Signs of a Commitment Phobe and How to Deal with Him/Her

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This may be one of the most common of relationship woes. Many of us have been in this situation.

I remember a time when I was totally head over heels for someone. I imagined, whether rightly or wrongly, that I connected to them, and they connected to me on a level that seemed beyond communication – almost instinctive.

But over time, when I imagined that connection to grow, the connection to become stronger…nothing happened. The relationship, whatever it was, seemed to stall.

The answer, when revealed, was simple: She was a commitment phobe.

Sometimes Love Could Go Wrong

Love, when it works, when two people just click, is something indescribable. But when something is wrong, love can cause significant grief and stress.

Commitment phobia has been the ending of a great many relationships. With a commitment phobic partner, you may start to doubt every aspect of your relationship with them, and perhaps even yourself.

To avoid it, commitment phobia needs to be understood.

About Commitment Phobia

Interestingly, if someone has a commitment phobia, this phobia may affect other areas of their life. They may find it stressful if they are faced with having to decide on things that will affect them long term.

As such, this may mean that their reluctance to commit to you romantically may not stem from them not being fully invested, but it may be a genuine mental health condition[1].

Why are People Having Commitment Phobic?

In psychology, there are four different kinds of attachment a person may have with another. The idea of this is called attachment theory[2].

Normally, attachment theory is used to describe attachments formed in childhood, but can be applied for adults in romantic relationships. There are three forms of attachment that may explain a commitment phobic person’s thoughts and actions:

  1. Fearful Avoidant. Someone with a fearful/avoidant romantic connection may actually want a strong lasting relationship; however, they may have fears about the future of the relationship. Fearing that they will be hurt in the future may make them wary of fully committing.
  2. Dismissive Avoidant. Someone with this connection may dismiss their want or need for a romantic relationship, and may see no reason to form a lasting relationship. Drop ’em fast.
  3. Anxious preoccupied. Here a person may want a relationship, but out of insecurity may doubt your commitment to it, and think you may soon regret it.

As such, the issue might be way more than them wanting to keep their options open (or even keep the relationship open.) There might be an underlining psychological grounding for their reluctance to commit.

Spotting a Commitment Phobic Person

How can you tell who is or is not a commitment phobe?

Luckily there are signs that the person you’re with is afraid of commitment. Here are some:

  • They frequently quit jobs[3] and leave careers. Though this could be a sign that they aren’t satisfied with their job, it may also suggest that they generally avoid committing to something.
  • Similarly, it may be a red flag if you know that they have been in many brief relationships with no past commitment[4]) shown.
  • They may run far away from the mere suggestion of the “L” word, or even be uncomfortable defining the relationship at all. Doing so makes the relationship something more concrete in their minds. Not something easily left or broken.
  • They have trouble committing to attending events until close to the time.
  • They are generally unreliable, and unpredictable.
  • They avoid introducing you to their family or close friends. This, in a sense, shows that they are keeping you in a separate compartment of their personal life – a compartment easily abandoned with no affect to the others.

If these sound familiar, then you should be wary. However, if you are indeed in a relationship with someone who refuses to commit, what are the best courses of action (aside from simply leaving them)?

You Want a Commitment Phobe to Change

If, of course, their reluctance to commit stems from psychological issues, then the best way for them to heal is with a degree of therapy. However, that is a tricky, time consuming process, and requires them to actively want to change their behavior; this would be a wonderful and positive step – however, it cannot be guaranteed.

So, What Should You Do?

Firstly, it could be a good idea to slowly start a hard to get[5]approach; make yourself slightly less available to them. This is a very risky strategy; if they are truly commitment phobic, then this could lead to them drifting away, thus ending the relationship. However, as much as it could encourage them to drift away, it also may encourage them to work harder. If they truly want the relationship work, they will have to work for it.

Always Put Yourself in the First Place

Always – this goes above all – put your own interests and needs first. A relationship is between two people; it’s natural for two people to think and feel different things. If they’re causing you undue stress through their fears of commitment (which may also show that they are putting their own interests first anyway), then perhaps it might be worth considering if they are worth this stress and anxiety.

If they are, then keep on, and hope love makes things develop.

If you are unsure, then maybe give them a time limit. If the period of uncertainty isn’t over by a certain time, for example a month, then perhaps it was not to be.

This realization can be hard in and of itself.

In the end, the issue is a complicated one. Matters of the heart always are. But love, when it works, is worth it. It’s just not always as you expect it.


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By |April 30th, 2017|Commercial|0 Comments

Making Money Online with a Two Tier Affiliate Program

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I made this quick video while waiting for my ride to take me to the SJO airport in Costa Rica. In the video, I explain why promoting a two tier affiliate program like MOBE is a great way to make money online, and give you a look at how much I make from the second tier.

For those who don’t know, two tier affiliate programs are one of the most popular affiliate programs out there. Most people don’t even realized that the affiliate programs they belong to have more than one tier. Google launched AdSense with a two tier affiliate program. When I ran Google ads, I got paid a share of the ad revenue. What most people didn’t know was that Google also paid me when I referred new bloggers to run Google ads.

MOBE is another example of a two tier affiliate program. I make money when I sell MOBE products. However, I also make money when I refer other affiliate marketers to promote MOBE products. I get 5% of their sales. While that may not sound like much, it can add up quickly if you sign up a few big affiliates. Imagine how much you could make if you referred me to a two tier affiliate program. 🙂

The Dot Com Lifestyle mean time freedom, money freedom, and location freedom. The only way to achieve that is to remove yourself as the income source by leveraging systems that makes you the money so you don’t have to. A two tier affiliate program like MOBE is a great way to do that.

If you want to learn step by step how to achieve the Dot Com Lifestyle, then I recommend applying for my Ultimate Dot Com Lifestyle coaching program. This is a 21 step program that I created with MOBE to teach you how to create a profitable internet business that’ll make you the money so you can live the Dot Com lifestyle. The program comes with a one-on-one coach to work with you and answer any questions you may have.

You can also check out any of the live workshops we’re doing in cities around the world. If there’s one near you, then make sure you attend. It could change your life. It has certainly changed mine.

Click Here To Download John Chow’s New eBook, The Ultimate Online Profit Model!

By |April 29th, 2017|Commercial|0 Comments

Vacation Coloring Page from Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal

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Last week I shared the nature coloring page from Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal, which launches in June and is now available for pre-order. I’m having a blast coloring my way through the book, and I’m excited to share a second page with you now!

How would you answer the question in the middle? (If you’re reading this in your inbox, click here to comment on the site.)

My favorite vacation happened four years ago, when I went to Italy with my boyfriend and our families. Though it may be hard to believe given my fair skin and light hair, I’m actually 50 percent Italian, so it’s always been a dream of mine to see Rome with my family.

It was the first time we’d ever traveled overseas together, and my siblings’ first time leaving the country, so that made it even more magical.

But that wasn’t what I most appreciated about this trip. I come from one of those families that spends a lot of time close to home, crammed together in a kitchen too small to fit us, endlessly entertained by each other’s company. And yet I have an insatiable explorer inside me, who never tires of discovering new places, people, and ways of being.

Dining al fresco on a cobblestone street with my siblings and parents to my left, my boyfriend and his parents across from me, and the Coliseum mere miles away, I felt whole. For that brief week, family and adventure overlapped, and I’ve never felt more happy or complete.

Stay tuned for another page next Wednesday. Getting my markers out now!

If you haven’t already, pre-order your copy of Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal here, and you’ll instantly receive three free bonus gifts.

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About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. To strengthen your relationships, get her new book, Tiny Buddha's 365 Tiny Love Challenges. For inspiring posts and wisdom quotes, follow Tiny Buddha on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram..

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

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By |April 29th, 2017|Commercial|0 Comments

How to Deal with People Who Can't Stop Getting Attention

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Have you noticed how some people always want to be the center of attention? Whether at work or play, they behave in a way that makes them stand out from the crowd.

You meet these people regularly. “Mr. Outrageous” dresses and acts in such an eccentric way that heads turn when he walks down the street. “Ms. Flirty” oozes appeal that men can’t resist. Even women take notice of the way she moves and her sultry voice. But wait. Are these normal levels of attention seeking or something more?

Attention seeking individuals may be suffering from “Histrionic Personality Disorder.”

Even though you’re sure to be familiar with people who crave attention, you may not be aware that they could be suffering from a mental illness known as Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD).[1] The American Psychiatric Association defines HPD as a personality disorder characterized by excessive attention-seeking behaviors and emotions.[2]

If the word “histrionic” is new to you, here’s how Merriam-Webster[3] defines it: Deliberately affected, overly dramatic or emotional, theatrical.

Think of reality TV participants. Frequently they display the traits listed above. In most cases it’s obvious that the participants are huge attention seekers.

How to Identify People with Histrionic Personality Disorder

Let’s now look at how to quickly spot people with HPD. They’re likely to display some or all of the symptoms below:

  • Intense, unstable emotions
  • Inappropriately flirtatious or seductive behavior
  • Constant need for reassurance and approval
  • Easily bored by routine
  • Overly concerned with physical appearance
  • Problems maintaining relationships
  • Uncomfortable in situations where they fail to be the center of attention

It’s important to be clear that we can all suffer from the above symptoms from time to time. However, individuals suffering from HPD are prone to exhibiting the symptoms incessantly.

The Cause of Histrionic Personality Disorder

Mental health studies have revealed some of the likely causes of HPD:

  • Brain wiring response to early developmental trauma caused by neglect
  • Genetical inheritance
  • Environmental factors such as lack of criticism while growing up

Why Recognizing Histrionic Personality Disorder Is Important

Whether they are colleagues, friends, or loved ones, it’s critical that you recognize someone suffering from HPD. In doing so you’ll be able to help your relationship with them – making both your lives happier.

As an example, let’s imagine that your boss suffers from HPD. He or she has terrible mood swings and the annoying trait of making small errors on your part seem like major disasters. They also lack the ability to focus on their daily duties, so often hand over their work for you to handle. If you didn’t know that he or she suffered from HPD you’d likely be driven crazy by your boss! However, once you become aware of a personality disorder you can learn how to adjust and cope with the strange behaviors.

Top Five Ways to Deal with Histrionic Personality Disorder Sufferers

You’ve now learned what HPD is and how to recognize it. Let’s conclude this article by looking at the five best ways of coping with people suffering from HPD:

  1. Stay calm when interacting with them. HPD sufferers can easily become agitated. By being calm around them you’ll help to de-escalate any over-the-top behaviors or emotions.
  2. Keep your distance. Whether sitting or standing it’s important to keep a reasonable distance (e.g., 3 or 4 feet) from HPD sufferers. This is because HPD sufferers typically have a hard time understanding boundaries. If you get too close they may act inappropriately towards you.
  3. Question their behavior. For this method to be successful, you must only question their behaviors in a gentle, friendly manner. For instance, if you feel their outlandish clothes are unsuitable for a serious event such as a funeral, this is a good time to ask them questions. You could word it this way: “Your clothes are amazing, but don’t you think something a little plainer would be more suitable for the funeral?”
  4. Recommend they take up meditation or yoga. Meditation and yoga are known for relieving stress and inducing calmness. These are positive traits that can be especially beneficial to a HPD sufferer. If you already practice meditation or yoga, then why not ask the HPD sufferer to come along to a class?
  5. Suggest they seek treatment from a mental health therapist.[4] If interacting with a HPD sufferer is proving too much for you, then you should definitely suggest to them that they seek professional counseling. A qualified mental health therapist will be able to help the HPD sufferer to manage the symptoms. Excessive attention seeking can be a warning sign that someone is suffering from Histrionic Personality Disorder. By learning the symptoms associated with Histrionic Personality Disorder, you can quickly identify affected individuals. Once you become aware of someone suffering from this disorder you can take the recommended steps above to help both them and yourself.


[1] MSD Manuals: Histrionic Personality Disorder
[2] American Psychiatric Association: What are Personality Disorders?
[3] Merriam-Webster: Histrionic
[4] Good Therapy: Find the Right Therapist
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By |April 29th, 2017|Commercial|0 Comments

Why You Need to Have Fun With Your Fears to Succeed

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Do you know anyone who doesn’t experience fear on some level? You don’t because that is not possible, even if you think you might. Fear is part of our physiology and psychology and it is a natural reaction to real or perceived danger. You will never ever reach a point in life when you won’t feel fear anymore; because it is part of us on a very deep level, it is part of our survival.

As long as you live on this earth you will feel fear. If you are serious about being in the driver’s seat of your life and making a success of it, you absolutely have to adopt better strategies to manage it. If it looks like some people never get gripped by fear, it’s only because they direct their fears. They don’t let their fears direct them.

So do you want to know how to use your fears instead of your fears using you?  Tony Robbins said it best when he said that fear is never rewarded, but courage is.  And I’m guessing you like rewards right?  So my invitation to you is to start having fun with your fears instead, they are part of you.

Here is how you can own your fears in 3 steps:

Step 1: Fear in itself is not the problem

You need to understand this. Just like procrastination or anger for example, your body is simply telling you something. The problem actually comes in with how you deal with it. If you are courageous and you look at your fear, you will be rewarded. If you don’t, it will forever remain an obstacle until you choose to.  To do this, you need to take the emotion out of it and get strategic.

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” – Henry Ford

Step 2: Check in with reality and look at your fear

So many people say, “I want to be successful, but I don’t know what is stopping me, so I’m going to give up.” What they are really saying is, “I want this great and amazing life, but I also want to stay in my comfort zone and have it come to me really easy.” Can you see the paradox here? This is why so many people stay in no man’s land. What I am saying is until you are ready and willing to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, you won’t change your life very much. If you want change, you have to change and if you want more, you have to be more.

Step 3: Come up with your game plan, your winning strategy

You are in the driver’s seat, this is your chance to have fun with this. It’s a good time now to remind yourself that you will attract the exact experiences you need to grow, and so most of the time, it is really in your best interest to move towards them strategically. Your biggest challenges are your biggest growth.

The golden rule in any decision making is to write it down, get it out of your head. And the decision you are making is “am I going to dance with this fear and win or not?” You want to get clear on the reward of following through with facing this fear. This is the real juice, so don’t skip this part. Right now, your mind has come up with reasons why you shouldn’t, you want to counteract that with double the reasons why you should.

“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.” – Napoleon Hill

What will it feel like when you surpass your fears and you are on the other side looking back? What will it mean to you? How will it change your life and the people around you? Who will you become by doing this? Really dig into why this is a MUST HAVE and why you should be excited to do this.

Now that you are juiced up and excited, you are ready to come up with a strategy. Write down what you are going to do to prepare for this or to feel better about taking this on. Come up with a game plan that will make you feel better. The more time you spend here, the easier it will be to move forward. The less time, the harder. Don’t forget that your environment might trigger the fear, but how you manage it is your choice.

Are you going to dance with your fears and make them fun or are you going to stay in the back seat struggling for success? Leave your thoughts below!

By |April 29th, 2017|Commercial|0 Comments

The 5 Best Podcasts on Prosperity

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You're reading The 5 Best Podcasts on Prosperity, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Prosperity is about the varied search for fulfillment. It is being in a state of thriving and success. However, this can be both in your individual life as well as the culture and society that you partake in. In fact, cultural prosperity can reflect the values that serve to motivate the individual toward a certain prosperous initiative.
  1. If you can’t imagine holding someone in high regard who is a ‘complainer’ or views themselves as a ‘victim’, it is much more helpful to both of you if one is willing to ask if that person wants to fix anything from their logical mind, or are they open to truly seeing people in a positive light. Energy attracts energy, and if your attitude is one of complaint, you will attract more misery on yourself.
  1. ‘Negative news is bad for your brain .’ –this podcast suggests that we shut off our televisions or radios (especially before we go to sleep) in order to be more careful about what we feed our brain. The concept of ‘mental nutrition’ is spoken about, being mindful of what we choose to allow into our consciousness.
  1. This is a podcast where guest Amy, aka the ‘Vlog Boss’, focusing on coaching people to go after what they want in life, helping them to create vlogs online. It is important to look at the context of each platform and stand out with what your message is. Look at the lens of the camera as though it is the one person who you would deliver the information to and speak to the camera as though you are talking to a person, it is about breaking down your fears.
  1. Lewis Howes ‘The School of Greatness’ podcast brings a special guest Chris Lee (a transformation coach), to speak about the 10 principles of abundance and prosperity. If ever you are struggling with many things that are not happening the way you want them to, you are feeling the weight of some story of scarcity you believe about yourself, this is a very enlightening podcast to listen to. It is much easier to create an abundant life by shifting your mindset, which shifts your action and ultimately, your reality.
  1. Joan Sotkin's site offers podcasts with a holistic approach to building your business. Focusing on a strong base for success, real world business and financial skills are also covered, however this particular podcast centers on ‘brain science’. The interesting take away is that the brain takes more interest in social comparison than it does with food and water, which shows that we must come to a point to where we accept and are happy with where we are in life, knowing that we are safe without having to compare ourselves with others. We can create the circuitry in our brain to a certain degree and so forming new habits toward the purpose of success can be motivating. True prosperity is more about good fortune through personal and cultural achievement. Many of us have to do a lot of self work in order to develop the mindset of abundance that can lead to true prosperity. The widely believed definition of it, which is simply monetary wealth, can’t be the end goal, it must be about happiness, health, wisdom, relationships and career, and then we may see the flourishing of success and prosperity. Do you read a great blog about prosperity that’s not on the list? Leave a comment on FB! Larissa Gomes is a breast cancer survivor and single mom to her spirited baby boy! Originally from Toronto turned Angeleno, she has worked in roles from writer, actor and producer for well over a decade. In that time, she's developed concepts, film and television screenplays, short stories, along with freelance articles, blogging and editing work

You've read The 5 Best Podcasts on Prosperity, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

By |April 29th, 2017|Commercial|0 Comments

Why Goal-Setting Goes Wrong and How To Fix It

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Its normal we all set goals and having them can help with your productivity. I’ve researched several successful entrepreneurs and found something in common with all of them – they all set monthly goals checking them off as they are completed. Did you know the late Steve Jobs and Bill Gates are prolific goal setters making sure they write everything down in the beginning of the month? Setting these goals is a great way to build motivation as you complete each of them so I recommend everyone to have daily and/or monthly goals. I personally write down everything on a piece of paper in my office clear in front of me so I can see what I need to do for the entire month. It’s amazing and has helped me produce awesome results. However,

I’ve found some people find it hard to manage their goals. I must say it’s much harder to set clear gaols when your working with a team or your psychological state comes in the way. I’ve found there are obvious reasons why goal-setting goes wrong, however the good news you can apply some strategies to fix them.

Let’s get started…

Team Doesn’t Agree

Many times your working with a team completing projects which means you NOT only have convinced yourself, but an entire team to get the job done. However, when you set a goal many of the people don’t agree which will impact the overall performance. This is why it’s so important to be a true leader that NOT only knows how to motivate the entire team, but keeps a steady expectation. I’ve noticed when the team doesn’t respect you they’re not going to follow your expectations and without establishing this your going to have a hard time meeting any objective as a team. Here’s what I suggest going forward…

First, before you can start setting goals it’s important to build a level of commitment with the entire team. Since each individual will affect the outcome it’s important to build 1-on-1 trust with every single one of them. This can be done through coaching, leadership, asking them for feedback and mutual respect. I’ve noticed production is at its highest when there are high levels of mutual respect. Create an atmosphere where each of you rely on one another so you’ve psychological embedded into them all of you are equal.

Just Try Your Best

I know ever since we’ve been young it was common for everyone to tell us to simply try our best. However, in business this can actually shield your creative ability by forcing you NOT to go out of your comfort zone. When we tell ourselves to “try our best” we are limiting what we would do to accomplish our goals. For example, with this mentality we’re simply comfortable reaching level 7/10 and if this doesn’t get us to where we want to go we will simply stop. However, a tweak in this mentality can produce enormous results. For example, some of the MOST successful people have psychologically embedded the following…

  • I refuse to lose and give up
  • I’m going to make sure I finish this NO matter what
  • I’ll do whatever it takes to accomplish this goal

If you say these statements aloud you’ll get motivated and there’s a clear reason why…

Your subconsciously telling yourself you have NO limit and will try whatever it takes to complete this goal. This means if you reach level 7 you’ll simply look for other ways to progress forward. You’ll step outside your comfort zone learning new tricks to achieve whatever it is in front of you.

Simply Unrealistic

Goal setting is very important however you have to be realistic or you’ll fail becoming unmotivated. Sometimes no matter how much you try there is a limit to how much you can do so keep that in your mind. Look back at your previous months so you’ll get a better idea of what you can accomplish and how much time you have to dedicate to your business then set realistic goals. Setting goals simply unachievable will have a negative impact psychologically and de-motivate at the same time.

You Don’t Adjust

When your starting out in business there are going to be times you don’t succeed in whatever your trying to accomplish however this is natural. If you ask any successful businessman they’ve probably failed more times than actually succeeded. However, the factor that distinguishes them from the failures is they tweak settings and try again. Sometimes you won’t achieve your goals and you should critique why so going forward you can make those changes. This applies to you working on your own or even as a team. Keep this in mind…

When things don’t work out always find out why then make those changes going forward. If things don’t work out again then take a step back looking for the factors why and keep trying. Eventually you’ll find a winning combination you can apply to your business going forward.

Click Here To Download John Chow’s New eBook, The Ultimate Online Profit Model!

By |April 29th, 2017|Commercial|0 Comments

Do You Drown Out Your Intuition?

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Our higher self

You can call it intuition, inner knowing, the universe, higher beings or whatever works. Everything that exists contains this flow of energy. It’s always there. When you are in that flow, you know that you are safe. You know you can do anything. You know that everything will go well and everything will work out.

There are no mistakes when you’re in the flow. You can’t do anything wrong.

It’s kind of like being in that make-believe world we had as children where we could do anything we set our minds to and nothing could ever go awry.

That’s what being in the flow is like.

We are designed to live in the flow. We are designed to live our lives as powerful beings.

Unfortunately, our minds get in the way

Our minds live in the physical world. Our minds need PROOF. Our minds KNOW…

…that we’re individuals

…we’re not connected to everyone else

…we’re separate

…other people are dangerous

…mistakes are wrong and bad and we must avoid making them or other people will think we’re really stupid

…we measure success by comparing ourselves with others

We live in a world created by our mind.

The Subtlety of Our Intuition

Our minds are so loud that we often miss what our higher self is trying to tell us because our higher self is very subtle, very gentle. In fact, it’s the complete opposite of how the mind is!

Our higher self might give us a nudge to go in a different direction when we think that we absolutely know the way. Synchronicities and coincidences map out the path that our higher self is guiding us along.

The difference between the way the mind works and the way our higher self works is like trying to compare Las Vegas and Vienna. You can bet your bottom dollar that the path our higher self will take us on will be the quickest and most beneficial one for us in more ways than we can possibly imagine.

Our higher self gives little nudges: ‘take the next left turn’ or ‘call Sam’ whom you haven’t seen in ages. Before we know it, something completely unexpected happens. It’s like landing on a ladder square in snakes and ladders: we bypass three rows of squares and catapult forwards.

Can you remember how it feels when that happens in snakes and ladders? You’re way behind everyone else then you land on a ladder square and suddenly, you’re in the first place and way AHEAD of everyone else?

You feel amazing: light, happy, gleeful, joyous.

Anything and everything become possible.

That’s how life SHOULD feel. You SHOULD feel happy, joyful, excited, safe, loved ALL THE TIME.

You’re meant to live your life IN THAT FLOW of energy.

But to do that, you must quieten the mind down to the point where you can hear those intuitive nudges.

Which is easier said than done, to be honest, because the purpose of the mind is to protect you.

And really, all it wants to do is to keep us safe from harm. It works to be KIND to your mind, to not judge it and to understand where it’s coming from.

The more you resist what your mind is trying to do, the louder it’s going to become.

Give your mind a break: its job is to protect you.

Quieten The Mind To Hear Your Intuition

Having said that, how can we quieten our minds to the point at least where we can hear our intuition?

  • Doing something physically strenuous will usually get your mind to calm down: e.g. running, swimming, boxing or an aerobics class.
  • Doing yoga
  • Meditating
  • Journaling
  • Visualising

Find a method that you can do DAILY to help calm your mind to the point where you can at least HEAR the nudges from your intuition.

Get into the habit of listening out for those nudges. Look for synchronicities, the coincidences, the little hints and suggestions…

And then, FOLLOW them! Now you can hear them, FOLLOW THEM! Don’t ignore them!

When you get one of those nudges, it’s like landing on the ladder square: take advantage of it!

If you were playing snakes and ladders and you couldn’t see where the ladder was heading, you STILL wouldn’t hesitate to take the ladder square, would you?

You wouldn’t take another turn just in case you ended up somewhere you didn’t want to?

You wouldn’t take another roll of the dice just because you couldn’t see what was at the end of the ladder…

Because you’d KNOW that the ladder was heading UPWARDS and by taking it, you’re going to end up that much closer to the end square.

Your higher self wants you to win

It wants you to have everything you’ve ever dreamed of.

You just need to listen to it when it’s talking to you.

Try thanking your mind kindly for its input, give it a big hug, quieten it down and listen out for those nudges from your higher self and follow where they’re leading.

You will end up somewhere completely unexpected and more amazing than where you planned to be!

And I’d love to hear where that is!


The post Do You Drown Out Your Intuition? appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

By |April 29th, 2017|Commercial|0 Comments

Are You a Multipotentialite? What to Do When You Have Many Interests

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“I think a singular identity isn’t very interesting, and I’m a little bit more multifaceted as a person than that.” ~Catherine Opie

Are you a person who gets inspiring ideas every day? Do you wake up, galvanized with such thoughts, only to end up feeling sore as the day ends because you failed to act on these bright morning ideas? Perhaps you also end up blaming yourself and feeling guilty for not having taken any action.

Then welcome to the world of multipotentialite, a word I first encountered when I heard a TEDX talk by Emilie Wapnick. In her talk, Emilie talks about the challenges multipotentialites face and how to embrace them.

Multipotentialite Defined

So who is a multipotentialite? The urban dictionary defines it as “somebody who has potential in multiple fields.” Sounds cool, right? It seems that such a person would lead a meaningful life. They’d never get bored, as there would always be something to catch their fancy.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t usually work out that way. How do I know? I happen to be one.

I am a software engineer turned writer, counselor, web designer, and trek guide. I haven’t stuck to any particular field, so I cannot say I am an expert or a specialist—words the world loves.

I detest family gatherings. Do you know why? People around me talk about promotions and their success while I talk about beginnings. I don’t mind; I’m a learner. But it’s difficult to explain to your family, who wishes to see you settled in your career, that you have multiple interests.

Without a supportive environment, several things can go wrong. Here are some of them.

Great ideas but no follow through

You get plenty of ideas, so much so that it becomes overwhelming. There are countless things you’d like to do right away. Sometimes it’s difficult to choose, for fear that you’ll leave it mid-way. Or you have a desire to do a multitude of things, all at once. Or the dissatisfaction of the earlier half-finished projects may bog you down, so you don’t start at all.

You’re labeled “irresponsible” or “afraid to commit”

You begin to feel that you’re not a responsible person because you don’t stick to anything. After all, hasn’t it been drilled into you that success depends on your level of commitment? And a lack of commitment could mean anything from not being serious to being irresponsible and careless.

The blame game

You start blaming yourself. The pressure to perform and stick to one particular career or task intensifies. It may be a self-created vortex, or others around you will contribute to the pressure by saying things like, “get serious” or “discipline is just what you need.”

Not fitting in

Finally ,you realize you don’t fit in. You start feeling something’s wrong with you, that you’re not like other “normal” people around you who commit to doing things. You believe you’re different and feel you don’t belong anywhere. This can also lead to loneliness or a sense of being alone in the world.

Disappointments greet you

When you’re unable to come up with a goal for yourself, it can hurt. You know you’re ready to put in the hard work, but goals keep changing, as nothing interests you for long. The hurt and disappointment can erode your self-confidence, as well.

The matrix

Yet you try. You keep searching for that single purpose that will make you feel whole again. Maybe you feel there’s something out there that is “you”—something that’s meant especially for you. You only have to find it and then you’ll be okay. Beware: This path is full of lies.

The feeling of being abnormal

You begin searching for mental disorders on the web. Maybe this is a symptom of a condition, or maybe it signifies a psychiatric illness. The web is extremely helpful here, as it displays twenty or more different disorders that you could box yourself into.

You suppress

You start sticking to a goal even if it kills you. You wake up day after day reassuring yourself that things will work out in the end. The suppression does not get you anywhere. Instead, you feel a disconnect, an overwhelming feeling that something is missing.

So this, in a nutshell, is the world of multipotentialites.

In spite of their vulnerabilities, multipotentialites can get a lot done. They’re generally quick learners who are able to grasp varied things, a strength that they could capitalize on. In a team they can come up with innovative ideas; the jack-of-all-trades does not lack solutions. Belief in yourself is the only thing that’s missing. Well, that and a couple of other things.

Trust that the dots connect.

Nothing ever goes to waste. The skills you learn along the way will help you in the future.

For a brief period I got a job as a travel writer when a magazine editor realized that I had explored quite a number of places within my city.

A web design course helped me juggle multiple roles at a start-up that was always short on staff.

The counseling degree gave me a better understanding of people around me. It also helped when my friend needed a student counselor for her tuition center.

So my skills were put to good use and I sometimes got paid too, without any conscious effort on my part.

Take small steps.

A quote by Katie Kacvinsky sums this aptly. She says, “You need to be content with small steps. That’s all life is. Small steps that you take every day so when you look back down the road it all adds up and you know you covered some distance.”

Especially when you have hundreds of things that you would like to do, it helps to make a list. Write down your desires and start with one of them. That’s it. Don’t expect anything except the desire to learn.

When you feel saturated, stop and proceed to do the next thing on your list.

The list will grow and so will you. Drop the expectations that you need to finish the project. It’s the learning that counts for you.

Looks for creative ways to contribute.

Maybe you could utilize your skills to earn more, by writing in your particular field, coaching, or even speaking. The important thing is not to give up on your interests; instead, look at them closely and see how you can proactively pursue them to better your situation. This removes the pressure on you and you start feeling less anxious.

Connect with people who can relate.

Joining a like-minded community helps put things in perspective. Forums and websites like Puttylike, started by Emilie, can help you restore your faith in yourself and move ahead in your life.

In the end it’s all about perspective. A quote by George Carlin sums it rather well.

“Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that’s twice as big as it needs to be.”

So choose to focus on your strengths. Success will surely follow.

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About Usha Mv

Usha is a freelance writer with varied passions—trekking, walking, history, and books to name a few. You can contact Usha at

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The post Are You a Multipotentialite? What to Do When You Have Many Interests appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

By |April 29th, 2017|Commercial|0 Comments