Need Some Help With Intimacy And Sex? Here Is Your Answer

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Eѕthеr Pеrеl is a “couples therapist” whо dеаlѕ with аll types оf human соuрlеѕ bе they hеtеrоѕеxuаl, lеѕbіаn, gау, mіxеd rасе, mixed religion, аnd mоѕt аnу оthеr category where еrоtісіѕm аnd/оr ѕеxuаl bеhаvіоr іѕ іnvоlvеd. In the book Mating in Cарtіvіtу: Unlосkіng Erоtіс Intеllіgеnсе, she tеllѕ іt lіkе іt іѕ thrоugh hеr years оf therapy practice with many humans.

Whіlе I had a hаrd tіmе getting іntо thіѕ bооk, I саn understand where it would bе a grеаt аѕѕеt tо many couples rеgаrdlеѕѕ оf аgе, race, sex, оr personal background. Thе author compares ѕеx іn thе mоdеrn world іn the United Stаtеѕ as it compares tо other аrеаѕ of thе wоrld. Wе іn the Unіtеd Stаtеѕ аrе mоrе aggressive іn ѕеxuаl bеhаvіоr but wе are also tоо ѕеlf worried about оur personal actions аnd реrfоrmаnсе compared tо many оthеr аrеаѕ оf the wоrld. Thе comparison оf еrоtісіѕm аnd ѕеx is completely different. Thе аuthоr goes tо grеаt lеngthѕ to attempt to еxрlаіn thеѕе dіffеrеnсеѕ.

Types of relationships explained

The book explains vаrіоuѕ tуреѕ оf groups thаt hеr patients have ѕроkеn аbоut in thеіr therapy аnd the ѕuggеѕtіоnѕ she hаѕ rendered to thеm. Group соnѕеnѕuаl ѕеx, ѕеx wіth someone outside the mаrrіаgе, аnd sexual еnсоuntеrѕ іn “swingers” grоuрѕ, аll hаvе hеlреd ѕоmе but hаvе also tаkеn thеіr life in rеvеrѕе. Thе uѕе оf fаntаѕіеѕ by еасh mаtе іѕ dеѕсrіbеd ԛuіtе dеерlу with іtѕ benefits and ріtfаllѕ. The brіngіng of mоrе іntіmасу into a соuрlеѕ life аnd hоw іt еnhаnсеѕ bоth. She еxрlаіnѕ thаt ѕеx іѕ nоt thе аnѕwеr to еvеrуthіng еvеn thоugh it wаѕ a mаjоr раrt оf thеіr еаrlу mаrrіаgе; іt саnnоt еxіѕt аѕ the оnlу раrt оf a mаrrіаgе in оrdеr tо kеер іt flоwіng ѕmооthlу.

Can a marriage be saved?

Reading thіѕ bооk, I соuld equаtе many a fаmіlу аnd frіеnd nееdіng ѕоmе оf the thеrару this bооk gives frееlу. Cаn it save a marriage or a unіоn? Possibly ѕо bу dіrесtіng them dоwn a new аnd steadier path tоwаrdѕ hарріnеѕѕ in thеіr bеdrооm аnd іn their total lіvеѕ еvеn wіth сhіldrеn in those lives that mіght be сrеаtіng a blосk fоr уоu.

If уоu’vе еvеr раіd gооd mоnеу fоr a bооk that рrоmіѕеd to рut hоt sex bасk іntо уоur marriage, уоu knоw hоw dіѕарроіntіng and dіѕріrіtіng thіѕ genre саn be. An еxсерtіоn іѕ Mаtіng іn Captivity bу Esther Pеrеl. She’s a New Yоrk City рѕусhоthеrаріѕt whо ѕреаkѕ nine lаnguаgеѕ аnd соnduсtѕ thеrару in six. Pеrеl’ѕ ѕріrіtеd and bоld tаkе on thе раrаdоxеѕ of dоmеѕtісіtу and еrоtісіѕm will рull уоu іn and kеер you thеrе. She challenges the nоtіоn thаt grеаt іntіmасу lеаdѕ to great ѕеx іn fасt, she bеlіеvеѕ the орроѕіtе and ѕhе ԛuеѕtіоnѕ, well, everything. Yоu саn’t exit frоm thіѕ book wіthоut уоur bаѕіс bеlіеfѕ about ѕеx оr thе lасk оf іt undеrgоіng a ѕеіѕmіс shift. And whаt mаrrіаgе саn’t uѕе thаt?

Reading duration: 5 hours 37 minutes

Get Mаtіng in Cарtіvіtу frоm Amаzоn at $20.35

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The Easiest Way to Achieve Your Goals

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You're reading The Easiest Way to Achieve Your Goals, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Do you feel like your goals are always out of reach? It's like no matter how hard you try, you never get enough things done. Like you’re stuck in a hamster wheel running and running, but you never get anywhere. You think to yourself, "I can’t wait for the one day I catch up with everything so I can finally get started on what I've really been dying to work on," but the work keeps coming. At this point, you're just hoping one day, things will get better. You probably have caught on by now how hard it is to achieve your goals let alone make the time to try and complete them. It doesn’t take long from going to the gym first few days to skipping out your first day because you're tired. Then you get started on the tub of ice cream later that night to comfort yourself from the feeling of failure yet again. You’re not alone. Fortunately, there is something surprisingly simple you can do to finally achieve your biggest goals.

When It Comes to Achieving Your Goals, Inspiration is Never Enough

When you hear the underdog stories of people accomplishing some of the biggest successes, you can't help but be inspired. You experience a little boost of motivation to do something about your own life as well. The problem is inspiration isn’t enough. How many times have you been inspired to make a change in your life whether it's to lose more weight, quit smoking, or spend less money only to find yourself in the same old bad habits again? Inspiration these days are easy to find. You can watch a Ted talk at the click of a button or stream some Netflix to watch an amazing movie. The real problem here isn't about finding more inspiration or motivation, it's about the routines you have in your daily life.

The Routines You Are Stuck In Are The Key Problem

Maybe you’ve wanted to write your book, but taking care of two kids and providing for your family daily makes it tough for you to find the energy to squeeze in time to write. You may have been hoping to eat healthier, but you get so busy at work it’s hard to find the time to get a proper meal. Perhaps you want to quit smoking, but the stress at work always makes you crave that cigarette so bad so you run outside to light it up. The reality of why it’s so hard to break out of old routines is simply the fact that it is a routine. We are creatures of habit. Charles Duhigg explains in his book “The Power of Habit” how the basic structure of our habits consists of a cue (trigger), the routine, and the reward.
For example, when you wake up first thing in the morning, you have your phone next to you. Your curiosity triggers you to check your email. You want to know if you received anything interesting so the routine is to browse your inbox. Once you finish, your curiosity gets rewarded and a surge of dopamine takes place to makes you feel good. Duhigg teaches the key to turning bad habits into good ones is to figure out how to change the routine. If you're a smoker and your ten-o-clock break comes, this cues you to go out and light up a cigarette. You obtain the reward of relieving your stress by getting the rush of nicotine through your body. Rather than smoking, maybe you can go for a nice walk or meditate to achieve the same stress relief. I've attempted to change my routines, but it was so much easier said than done. Especially when the cues come up so often, it's much easier to stick with what you have been doing already. It wasn't until I realized there was one simple thing I could to change up my routines. This was the game-changer in achieving my own goals.

The Key to Changing Up Your Routines: Start Making Changes in Your Environment

Science has shown when you change your environment by going on vacations, it rewires your brain. This can promote both mental and physical health. Changing up your environment even in the smallest ways can interrupt your brain from going into the same old habit. New neurons are developing in your brain to increase your capability of changing. This is what helps you replace a bad habit with a good one. So what changes can you make right now? The answer is to keep it simple.

Make it as Easy as Possible For You to Develop The Routine.

Goals are harmful unless they guide you to make specific behaviors easier to do. Don’t focus your motivation on doing Behavior X. Instead, focus on making Behavior X easier to do.

-B.J. Fogg

Let's say you've been hoping to read more, but you find yourself too busy to do it. You examine your daily routines and you realized you spend about an hour on your phone every night before bed. One idea is to charge your phone in the living room and place the book on your bed. This way, you have direct access to the book when it's time for bed. By modifying your environment in this way, the chances of you developing a new routine is much higher now. Compare this to having your phone in your room next to your bed and your book out of reach on the shelf in the living room. You're practically setting yourself up for failure. Related: 11 Habits That Can Absolutely Transform Your Productivity Behavioral science studies shows changing up your environment is the key to making it easier to succeed at developing a new routine.
If you use a big spoon, you’ll eat more. If you serve yourself on a big plate, you’ll eat more. If you move the small bowl of chocolates on your desk six feet away you’ll eat half as much. If you eat chicken wings and remove the bones from the table, you’ll forget how much you ate and you’ll eat more.

-Brian Wansink, Mindless Eating

So before you decide to commit yourself to losing 20 pounds in two weeks, quit smoking cold turkey or convert to a vegan diet, first come up with ways you can make simple changes to your daily surroundings to optimize your chances of success. Remember, the smallest changes can produce the biggest results so stop working so hard to use your willpower to achieve a goal. Just make things easier for yourself. Then you will finally get the results you've been aching to see.
Eugene K. Choi is a talent activation coach who helps young adults produce real breakthroughs in their lives by finding the zone where their passions and talents intersect. You can download his free guide, Four Steps to Instantly Jump Start Your Best Life Ever or learn more at

You've read The Easiest Way to Achieve Your Goals, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

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3 Questions to Ask Yourself for a Winning Business

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“My pleasure”. We’ve all heard this before right? It is probably not implemented more than in the culture at Chik-Fil-A. I can’t tell you how many times I go in there and like clockwork they respond to every request with my pleasure. This is something that, not only separates them from their competition but continues to make them a destination for people to seek out when they are hungry.

This attitude that every employee from the cook to the owner carries is something that we should all learn from and understand the importance of in our daily interactions with people, prospects, and customers.  

Are you conditioning yourself everyday to be in a position of service for your family, friends, clients, and anyone that you come into contact with? Too many times I see people not focused and aware of the potential opportunities walking around them every day. Do you want to know why they are missing them? It is because their attitude sucks and isn’t one ready to be of service.   

1. Are You Approachable?   

Are you presenting yourself to everyone with a smile? This is a simple tactic you can implement right now that will open up more conversation opportunities for you and will have others asking how your day is going and the most common question or response from others will be, what has you smiling today?  Nature guards humans and to break down the barriers they have up, you have to be someone they feel is there to help them or be of service. Smiling first is key to opening them up and start breaking down their defenses.  

“To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity” – Douglas Adams

2. Are You A Good Listener?

After you create the introduction and start the dialogue with your customer or prospect it is essential to be quiet and listen to them.They will begin to tell you what, how, and why they are looking for help and give you the opportunity to show them how your service will solve their problems and needs. Too many times I see salespeople or business individuals talk right through their prospect or customer and in essence, talk themselves right out of a sale.  

Listening is crucial to being in the customer service business. I mean how you can indeed solve a problem for someone if you first refuse to listen to them and find out their problem/problems in the first place?  

“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth” – Muhammad Ali

3. Are You An Action Taker?  

The best of the best take action to service their customers, clients, or others for that matter. Talking points are great but it’s the activity and the action steps that people are looking for and out of you. If you really want to create an environment of service, this is non-negotiable. Don’t just communicate with your prospects how you are going to help them or service them, SHOW them through your commitments, actions, and abilities to solve their problems. This is a major part of the attitude of service framework that is necessary to separate you from the all the rest.   

You must first create an environment of service in your own daily habits everyday to create the atmosphere of service you want your colleagues, clients, and general surroundings to see from you as well. Your attitude is the first thing you have to check to get this mindset in alignment with your habits.  

Create a daily smile that others find welcoming.  Listen to everything going on around you so that you are sharp and aware of your surroundings, and then attack every day with actions of solving problems and elevating yourself as the solution others seek out when they need a product or service to better their situation and business.

What are some things you do that show your attitude of service? Comment Below!

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The Most Beautiful Places to Visit in Morocco

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There is so much to see and experience in Morocco! All the sights, smells, and sounds will intrigue and excite you from the moment you arrive.

It’s a land of diversity with mountains and deserts, blue-colored cities, souks and medinas, fabulous architecture, and thought-provoking ruins. It’s undoubtedly a land of beauty and many places throughout the country will stop you in your tracks.

With that in mind, here is a guide to the most beautiful places to visit in Morocco.

Ait Benhaddou

ait benhaddou

Located on a hill above a shallow river valley, Ait Benhaddou is a fortified village on the former caravan route between the Sahara and Marrakesh. It’s one of the most spectacular sights you’ll see in Morocco.

The dark red colored walls of this city are surrounded by swaying palms and terraced gardens while the extravagantly decorated buildings are some of the best preserved in this region. The scenery around Ait Benhaddou is no less breathtaking, and walking is a fabulous way to appreciate the beauty for yourself.



One of Morocco’s most charming towns, Asilah has a long, golden sandy beach with the blue waters of the Atlantic crashing onto the shore. It is pleasant to wander in the medina, the towers, and ramparts with their beautiful pastel shades and colorful murals.

You will also see a delightful white mosque and a wide promenade lined with huge palm trees. All these parts of Asilah give the town an air of elegance, perfect for a few days on the coast.

Cascades d’Ouzoud

cascades d ouzoud

The Cascades d’Ouzoud has the most spectacular waterfalls in the whole of Morocco, surrounded by lush valleys of oak and pomegranate trees. You’ll be able to feel the cool spray on your face as the water plummets downward in a clamorous race to reach the green pools below.

Whether you go swimming in the pools or take a pleasant walk around the falls to see rainbows forming in the mist, the atmosphere is mellow and very relaxing.


Via On The Go Tours

If the gorgeous blue buildings and picturesque alleyways decorated with brightly colored and plant-filled pots of Chefchaouen aren’t enough, its impressive Spanish mosque, a stunning medina with balconies, tiled roofs, and courtyards, and stunning hilltop views might just swing it as being Morocco’s most beautiful city.

The Rif Mountains, an ancient kasbah located in lush green gardens, and a waterfall on the outskirts of town are more places that make a visit to Chefchaouen worthwhile.

Erg Chebbi

erg chebbi

One of the most jaw-dropping sights in the whole of Morocco must surely be the seemingly endless expanse of the Sahara Desert. And what better place to explore them than from Merzouga, a stone’s throws from some of the largest dunes in the area.

It is here that you and your camel can wander across the Grande Dune de Merzouga, over 150 m high and 7 km across, into the isolation and silence of the desert. Expect a colorful landscape of sand and sky as the day progresses, clear night skies filled with sparkling stars, and a sunrise like you’ll never experience again.


Via pinterest

A truly charming Moroccan destination on the Atlantic Coast, Oualidia is a sleepy little village that is big on natural beauty. Its highlights include a picturesque fishing port and a stunning coastal lagoon.

It is popular with surfers and windsurfers who come for the vast Atlantic waves, but for those who are in search of a slower pace, there are ruins and caves to explore. Oualidia is a haven for bird life and there are plenty of species to spot in the lagoon and along the shore.

The Chellah, Rabat

the chellah rabat

One of the most beautiful ruins in Morocco, The Chellah has a Gothic style gate and the remains of Roman arches, walls, and towers; the architecture of the whole site is stunning.

As you walk through the imposing entrance, passing abandoned pools, and wonderful mosaics, you enter into a place which is both surreal and breathtaking. The resident storks add to the spine-tingling atmosphere with the clicking of their beaks as they watch you from their nests.

Before you depart, take a peek over the walls for some of Rabat’s finest scenery, a magnificent river valley covered with beautiful flowers in the spring.

Toubkal National Park

toubkal national park morocco
Via moroccotours

One need look no further for beauty than Toubkal National Park, a spectacular landscape at every turn and one that changes throughout the year from the snow-covered peaks of Jebel Toubkal to the lush green valleys and terraces peppered with purple irises.

Hikers will rejoice in exploring the streams, rivers, and waterfalls plunging into the pools beneath. There are also mountain villages with houses constructed out of the rocks, craggy slopes, boulder fields, ridge walking, and river crossings that make this area a hiker’s wonderland. Without a shadow of a doubt, you’ll never tire of the stunning views that besiege your eyes.


About the Author: This article was written by Gill Morris, savvy travel blogger at, a personal travel blog of Adrian Sameli. To connect with Gill, follow her on FaceBook.

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The 12 Killer Lessons I Learned In 2017 That You Can Implement Right Now.

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Every year I reflect on the lessons I’ve learned so that I can remember what I achieved and inspire others to reach their own dreams and goals.

I’m all about actionable advice and these lessons can be understood and implemented right away. Giving up on excuses and moving into action is the only way I’ve seen to do the cool things that everyone else wishes they could do but haven’t realized are within their reach.

These are the killer lessons I’ve learned in 2017:


I can conquer fear and so can you.

2017 has been a year of conquering fears. I did the uncomfortable things that I previously always put off and this allowed me to break through fear. The secret was to schedule those difficult activities and not care about the outcome.

Those fearful activities included: public speaking, sharing vulnerable thoughts on social media, going on dates with girls I’d never met and acknowledging my weaknesses. All of it was very challenging but when I look back, that’s where the growth has come from in 2017.

You can crush your fears too. Give it a go and disconnect your mind from what might happen.


I can overcome addictions and so can you.

In previous years gone by, I ignored my addictions. I pretended they didn’t exist and that I was a Cookie Cutter Citizen – I defiantly wasn’t. 2017 made me discover who I wanted to be and give up those addictions to make room for what I wanted in my life.

No longer did I lie to myself. While the addictions felt amazing, overcoming them felt ten times better. The key to beating these addictions was getting help from someone other than myself and holding myself to a higher standard.

I also became compassionate with myself when I fell back into old ways and allowed myself a few slip-ups.

You can look your addictions in the eye too and decide enough is enough. Try it.


I can be focused and so can you.

I’m typically all over the shop. 2017 brought a real focus on minimalism and I used this life hack in every aspect of my day-to-day living. At the end of it all, the new focus I created gave me:

– More time
– Fewer material belongings
– Higher quality relationships with my family, friends and colleagues
– More money
– Outstanding results in blogging

Focus is not about being more productive; it’s about doing less.

“Subtract all the noise and what you’ll be left with is a phenomenal sense of focus that you can use to achieve your big goals”

If my noisy, disorganized mind can become focused then so can yours. Try subtracting.


I can give to people that have nothing and so can you.

One of the highlights of 2017 was spending Christmas Day with the homeless and giving everything I had at that point in time to people who needed it the most. I gave my time, money, inspiring ideas and network to anyone I encountered on Christmas Day.

This very special day taught me that I have enough and that fulfillment is found in places you may not have looked yet.

“Putting a few dollars towards presents for the needy is nowhere near as good as being with them and giving them the human connection that they really seek (not the money)”

You too can spend a festive day with people who have nothing. Sign up in advance so you don’t forget or come up with excuses.


I can be kind and so can you.

2017 has been about thinking before taking action. Instead of defaulting to angry behavior I chose to think first and react later. This hack has allowed me to be kinder to everybody. If a car cuts me off in traffic, I now consider the consequences of shooting my mouth off and trying to seek justice.

If someone close to me says something I don’t like, I try not to sound superior and allow them to have their own point of view. We can all be kind when we stop and think first.

We need more kindness in the world and it starts with you. Try being kind and see how good it feels.


I can do major, unplanned travel and so can you.

Wow, Japan was fun in 2017! I went there with only two days to plan and got on a last-minute flight. Normally I’d insist on having months to plan and trying to predict every step. This time, I embraced the fear and just went to Japan without any plans.

“Uncertainty and lack of planning leads to freedom and unexpected exploration”

Some of the best experiences are ones where you don’t know what to expect (especially when you don’t speak the language of the place you’re going.)

If I can book a trip with two day’s notice then so can you. Try going overseas last minute and getting away from your habits and normality. It will allow you to return with a new perspective.


I can do public speaking without preparation and so can you.

My public speaking skills have improved in 2017 but never did I think I could speak without preparation. 2017 proved this idea to be false. Many of you suffer from a fear of public speaking and one of the best things you can do is to practice without any notes or idea of what you’re going to say.

Preparation can often lead to over planning which carries a whole new type of fear. If I can go from being scared of public speaking to placing in the finals in several public speaking competitions, then so can you.

Try doing public speaking without preparing, on a topic you know well.


I can invest well and so can you.

Money has always been something I wanted to master so I can focus my time on other things like blogging. 2017 was the year I finally started investing not just in myself and my development, but in investments that have a financial return.

I used the Warren Buffett strategy for stocks and using index funds, as well as dabbling in higher risk investments like cryptocurrency.

Both strategies proved to be winners. The biggest thing I did though was spent less and automatically deduct money from my income, and place it into investments. You can start from any financial position and invest any amount of money.

The key I’ve found is to make investing a habit and automate it. You also need a balance of risk and to have a bit of high risk in your portfolio.

If I can invest well with no finance degree then so can you. If you don’t know where to start, read “The Barefoot Investor” (that’s what I did).


I can be better with my time and so can you.

Less coffee catch ups and more time with like-minded people were certainly wise decisions in 2017. I stopped trying to please everyone and said no more often. I delivered each no with respect, positivity and humbleness.

I invested my time in activities like blogging, reading and relaxing. This gave me more of what I wanted and less of other people’s priorities. Trying to make everyone else happy is a loser strategy that will make you busy and feel like rubbish. Choose yourself first when it comes to time.

If I can find more hours in the day and do what I love then so can you. It all starts with saying no more often and knowing what you value. Invest your time like you would your hard-earned money.


I can start a business and so can you.

For around five years I’ve put off starting another business. 2017 was the year I created my social media consulting agency and begun my coaching business. Both these business ventures allow me to help others and get paid to do what I love.

For years I talked about starting another business after my previous ventures but I always thought I wasn’t good enough and didn’t have enough value to deliver. I was wrong.

You are probably wrong too about why you can’t start a business tomorrow. Try it. Start asking for money from people who could use your expertise.


I can fall in love and so can you.

Smashed my goal this year of finding a proper girlfriend. It wasn’t fate; it was intentional and hard work. There’s someone out there for all of us including you. Be bold and begin the search if you haven’t already done so.


I can eat healthy and look after myself and so can you.

Earlier in 2017, I made the decision to have a few casual wines again. Things got way out of control and I fell back into my old ways. Thankfully, after a couple of drunken months, I quit again and am now back to where I want to be. I can have one wine and be all good.

Food was another area that I let get out of control. I had an ice cream or two and that led to a mild sugar addiction. This sucked my energy away and made me feel tired. I also discovered through lots of experimentation that I wasn’t sleeping enough.

I now insist on a minimum of eight hours sleep despite what the “Hustle Till Your Dead” picture quotes say. This has given me a newfound energy and allowed me to outperform in the area of my passions. We have to look after ourselves otherwise we can’t enjoy life to its fullest.

If I can be disciplined and look after my body then so can you. Treat your body well and life will be even more incredible.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on

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Cardi B Net Worth

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Introduction Cardi B is an American hip hop artist, rapper, TV and social media personality, from the Bronx in New York City. She originally gained attention online after discussing her former career as a stripper. Today, she is signed to Atlantic Records, and is becoming a very popular hip hop artist. As of January 2018, […] More

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How to Detect a Dumb Who Is Faking Smart

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Have you noticed that some people pretend to be busy at work? I’m sure you have, as it’s certainly not uncommon. However, some people practice a bigger deception, namely, they pretend to be much smarter than they really are.

But whether it’s attempting to look busy or look smart, it’s obvious that these people are super-conscious of how others see them.

And while pretending to be something they’re not can work for a time – eventually they’ll be caught out, as the vast majority of people overestimate themselves in the ‘acting skills’ department.

Faking Smart Makes People Look Smarter?

When it comes to faking smart, these pretenders fully believe that their ‘act’ can change the way others see them.

For example, an ambitious office worker might look and sound smart as they’re keen to climb the career ladder. However, as you’ll discover in a moment… appearances can be deceptive!

I’ve thought long and hard about these pretenders, and I’ve come to the realization that they don’t understand that the quality of smartness needs to come from within. It’s not a characteristic that can just be put on a like a jacket or a scarf.

Clearly, these people are ‘acting’ from a surface level and playing the role of someone who is seen as smart (although that will be their own interpretation of smart).

Even the Best Actors Have Their Bad Days

Just think for a moment about a person who you once thought was smart – but later realized was really just an average person with a gift for selling themselves. If you recall some of the conversations you had with them, you’ll remember that they loved to give lots of opinions on things, but could seldom express the reasons for these opinions.

Simply put, they dominated conversations by talking a lot – but most of what they spoke was nonsense.

I’ve encountered so many of these people over the years, that I now feel sorry for them when I see them pretending to be something that they’re not. It’s quite sad as they’re emotionally and mentally desperate for others to see them as smart people who know lots of things.

How to Spot a Pretender

I want to share with you now my techniques for spotting mediocre people who are pretending to be smart people.

The first and primary technique is to ask these people lots of questions. When you do this, you’ll quickly begin to unravel their ‘lines’.

What I mean by this, is that an average person acting smart will only be able to mimic the surface qualities of a genuinely smart person. Once you start probing the pretender with questions, you’ll immediately begin to find holes in their stories and responses.

I recommend asking simple questions such as:

  • “Why do you believe that? “
  • “What’s the reason for taking that decision?”
  • “Can you tell me more?”

When you ask questions like these, an actor will struggle to reply, as they won’t have a genuine back story to call upon.

But be careful, if a pretender feels that they’re close to being exposed, they may react with anger and aggression – as this will be their only way left of showing that they still have control and power over things. And even if they’re not aggressive, you can be sure that they’ll argue with you and insist that they’re right.

To give you a real-life example of this, I remember working with an ‘average Joe’ who talked smart – but was in reality, quite the opposite. One time when we were discussing technical details of a project, I noticed he started using terminology that was not just irrelevant, but was in fact, completely off track.

When I mentioned this to him, he suddenly became super-defensive and said that he had simply misspoke. However, it didn’t end there. After making his excuses, he abruptly switched the attention from himself to me. He started accusing me of all kinds of things – none of which were true. Luckily, his falsehoods were noticed by others on the project, and it wasn’t long before he was no longer a part of it.

When you know what to look for, you’ll find it incredibly easy to spot the actors and pretenders. When they are faking smart, they won’t have done their research, and this means that they won’t have the proper perspectives on an issue. This is why asking questions will expose them. When trying to respond, they will fail to explain things properly or convincingly.

Hollywood provides a good metaphor. For instance, you’ve probably seen actors playing expert lawyers. On screen, they look and sound impressive. However, if you had the opportunity to ask the actor some legal questions (outside the remit of the script) they would almost certainly just look at you blankly. In other words, they only have a surface knowledge. And this knowledge is very limited indeed.

Seeing Instantly Through Someone

It’s vital that you know how to spot people who are faking being smart. If you allow them to fool you, they’ll lead you down a hazardous road littered with bad ideas and bad decisions.

Clearly, a person faking smart, doesn’t have the genuine knowledge or experience of someone who’s actually smart. And because of this, they’ll always lack the proper perspectives on issues, causing them to make inferior choices.

Whether they’re your subordinate or your boss, don’t let their pretence negatively impact your work. Either help them to bring out their authentic self – or if they’re unwilling to do this – take steps to distance yourself from their delusions.

Knowing how to spot a pretender will be a fantastic skill that you can use in all areas of your life. Never again will you be taken in by people who claim to be something they’re not.

The post How to Detect a Dumb Who Is Faking Smart appeared first on Lifehack.

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10 Expert-Approved Hacks For Holiday Home Safety

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The holiday season is the time for carols, mistletoe, crackling fires, hot cocoa, and presents under the tree. With all those things, it’s easy to forget about home safety habits. We get complacent and preoccupied with all the hustle and bustle that’s so common this time of year.

To help secure your home, here are some expert-approved holiday home safety tips to prevent fire, injury, and break-ins.

How to Prevent Fire

Tip 1: Keep an eye on your cords

Whether you prefer a simple strand of lights on your Christmas tree or a yard full of animated decorations, paying attention to cords and electrical outlets is a must. You need to be smart and not overload your cords.

Experts suggest that you also examine individual strands and cords while decorating. Throw away any frayed or worn light strands you see.

Tip 2: Clean and maintain your dryer

Dryer fires are possible any time of the year but the winter months can present a special risk. Extra lint from heavier materials, like your ugly Christmas sweaters and fuzzy warm blankets, can build up on the lint screen.

If not cleaned routinely, that accumulated lint is an accident waiting to happen. Clean the lint screen after every single load of laundry to reduce the danger.

Also, don’t start your dryer right before you go to bed or leave the house to run errands; make sure you’re home when the dryer is running.

Tip 3: Check your fire alarms

Ideally, you should check your fire alarms monthly and not just during winter. That said, if you sometimes neglect this household chore, the holidays are a great time to get back on track.

With festive candles, meal preparation, and guests constantly coming and going, the risk of fire is heightened. Ensuring that your fire alarms are working properly can help prevent serious injuries and property damage.

Tip 4: Take Care of Your Tree

christmas tree safety

If you like to put up a freshly cut tree, don’t use lighted candles nearby. Trim branches off near the base of the trunk and make sure to keep it watered so the branches don’t dry out. Dry branches can be vulnerable to fire from the heat of decorative lights.

If you display an artificial tree, experts suggest to use one that has a fire resistant label and don’t use more than three sets of lights per extension cord.

How to Prevent Injury

Tip 5: Clear walkways, inside and out

Something as simple as a blocked hallway can cause serious injury to you, your family or your guests. Keep cords and decorations away from doors, chairs, stairways, and other high-traffic areas to prevent trips and falls.

Clean up stray boxes and gift-wrapping materials promptly and watch to be sure that presents under the tree don’t inch their way into well-trod walking paths in your home. When hanging up decorations, use a step stool or a ladder rather than a chair.

This tip isn’t just for indoors. Watch for extension cords or yard decorations that could be hazardous outdoors as well.

Tip 6: Exercise caution while decorating

Is your house known as the most decked-out, bedazzled house on the block? Good for you!

Just be sure to prioritize safety while you deck the halls this year. Use sturdy ladders of the appropriate size for outdoor decorations and examine your roof for any potential hazards, including loose shingles.

Tip 7: Prepare for snow and ice

If you live in an area where snow and freezing temperatures aren’t an issue, feel free to skip ahead. For the rest of you, cold weather safety is no joke!

In most towns and cities, removing snow and ice from your sidewalk is required by law to prevent injury to pedestrians. Have your snow shovel ready and accessible always and stock up on ice melt for your driveway and sidewalks. Icicle prevention is also important and so is cleaning out and repairing gutters regularly.

How to Prevent Break-ins

home security safety

Tip 8: Make your home an undesirable target

The first step to avoiding break-ins is to prevent your home from becoming an easy target. First of all, make it look like you are home by keeping a car parked in the driveway, playing music, and being careful not to leave packages on the doorstep. Packages sitting outside your door are like a billboard that screams no one is home. Try sending your packages to your office or a trusted neighbor you know is home during the day.

Don’t give burglars places to hide. Clear the path to your door so neighbors can see it from the street. Keep your bushes trimmed and avoid large blow-up decor during the holidays.

You can also put a camera above your doorway (even if it’s a non-working one) to scare off potential intruders.

Tip 9: Use a security system

Another great home safety tip is to get a home security system. It can greatly increase your safety since around 60% of criminals look for a different target if a home alarm is installed.

Most security systems come with security cameras and fire and flood sensors for your safety. Some of them even allow you to monitor things from your smartphone, which is a convenient bonus.

For your home, try to do your research first because the devices you’ll need will depend on your location, budget, and home type.

Tip 10: Secure your home’s entry points

We all know enough to lock our doors and our windows but a lot of homeowners often overlook garage doors, which are common entry points for burglars.

Something else that gets overlooked?

Spare keys. If you have these hidden in your yard, be sure they’re not obvious to potential thieves.

See Also: 7 Common Mistakes Making Your Home Prone to Burglary

With these easy home hacks under your belt, you can count on a safe and secure holiday season.

What other holiday home safety tip can you share? Be sure to comment below and share this article with others who can use a hand getting ready for winter.

The post 10 Expert-Approved Hacks For Holiday Home Safety appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

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What Has Science Taught Us In 2017?

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Taking a tow down memory lane, the year 2017 held so much spectacular events. No, this is not about President Donald Trump’s twitter fights and all the unimportant confusions and contraptions we were all forced to deal with. The article The Top 10 Science Stories of 2017 by Andrea Gawrylewski gives us a breakdown of the most important scientific happenings witnessed during the year. While we are still trying to grasp many of these events, the list looks interesting and we hope 2018 comes with breathtaking, science happenings like the outgoing year.

The Many Faces Of The Science Events Witnessed in 2017 

Science events happened in several categories. In this article, Andrea Gawrylewski selected the two most important developments in five topic areas, based on editor’s top picks and the most popular articles at shared on Scientific American. It is interesting to see that the list covers:

  1. Space and Physics;
  2. Sustainability and climate;
  3. Technology;
  4. Health;
  5. Mind and brain.

Scientists had a busy year in 2017. A delve into the events will reveal just how much they were busy.

Spectacular Science Events As They Happened in 2017 

On August 21, 2017, the US witnessed a total solar eclipse that travelled through its entire city in 99 years. This event availed scientists with the rare opportunity to observe the sun’s chemistry, Einstenian relativity and other relatively uncharted waters in the study of our solar system. Many of the findings they will find will only be revealed in 2018, so it promises to be an exciting year for science. 2017 also witnessed the collision of two neutron stars by astronomers affiliated to the gravitational wave observatory. 2017 was also hurricane season and it aroused a challenge and call to action as regards our climate and peeling planet. The collection also includes President Trump’s decision to withdraw the US from the Paris climate accord.

AI Sets The Pace

In tech, Artificial Intelligence was a groundbreaking revelation and is set to be the next best thing for businesses. Yes, ISIS witnessed a 22,000-pound bomb dropped, when the US carried out a strike on her Afghanistan base. Who would forget the deadly Florida mass shootings? These events once again underscores the shaky grounds upon which the US gun policy stands and it shed light on the opioid crisis. Marijuana and the legal breakthrough in America and of course, the many concerns it still holds. The last was about Michael Shermer’s methods to convince people about cold, hard facts.

What Does 2018 Hold? 

Many science events happened throughout 2017 that did not make the cut. It will be interesting to see how much these topics would continue to be the subject of discussions in the New Year and how we will venture forward when new events starts to unfold.

Do you agree with this list or not? Moreover, do you accept that these were the most talked about science events in 2017? To read the full article, click here.

The post What Has Science Taught Us In 2017? appeared first on Lifehack.

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7 Business Tools You Need to Succeed Online

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You could put that new bookcase together with a rusty old screwdriver and the heel of your shoe, but it’s probably a lot easier if you have a power drill and a proper hammer. Having the right tools for the job can significantly reduce the amount of frustration and stress you can feel with just about any task and making money online is no exception.

What’s great is that in this age of cloud computing, mobile apps, and browser-based solutions, many of these tools can be accessed from practically anywhere as long as you have an appropriate device. This is great for the jet-setting dot com lifestyle where you might find yourself on the sunny shores of Costa Rica one day and bustling metropolis of Manhattan the next.

Here are some tools of the trade, presented in no particular order, that you should seriously consider adding to your regular workflow.


If you want to make money online, you’d better have a fairly strong grasp of both your personal and professional finances. Credit cards aren’t evil if you leverage them to your advantage. Positive cashflow is critical for the success of any affiliate marketing campaign. And it’s also reassuring when you get emails in the morning saying you’ve just received a $90,000+ deposit while you were sleeping.

To get a total handle over all your money, get Mint. Use it to create budgets, including suggestions based on your actual spending habits. Track and pay your bills on time to avoid any unnecessary late charges. Keep tabs on your credit score and see where you’re actually spending your money. See everything in one place.


You can’t rely on your brain to remember everything. Your memory is faulty and limited. If you don’t write it down, you’re going to forget. And a far better choice than writing it down is using a note-keeping app like Evernote. This goes far beyond simple text to include images, checklists, doodles and more, with easy access anywhere, plus the ability to share your notes with other users.

Office 365

Let me preface this by saying that I am generally more of a fan of Google’s offerings in this space. I already rely heavily on Gmail, so turning to Google Docs and Google Drive makes logical sense. That being said, the regular world of business is still very much aligned with Word, Excel and Powerpoint, so if you’re going to be interacting with traditional businesses, Office 365 could be a more prudent choice.

You get ready access to up-to-date applications for all your word processing and spreadsheet needs, plus you get the added benefit of one terabyte of OneDrive cloud storage and 60 monthly minutes of Skype credit included as part of the basic bundle. A personal subscription is just $69.99 a year. If you collaborate with colleagues and employees, one of the business plans may be more appropriate.


When you work for yourself, especially out of a home office, no one is going to hold you accountable but yourself. It’s far too easy to get distracted with Facebook and YouTube. Keep tabs on where you’re actually spending your time with RescueTime. The app will help you focus and be more productive, because you’ll see actual facts and figures that illustrate just how bad your procrastination has become. How much real work are you actually doing?


Yes, you can use PhotoShop for any sort of serious image editing work and you might turn to InDesign to handle your ebook cover and media kit. A more accessible tool that’s much easier to learn and understand by the average person, though, is Canva. There’s a web-based image editor for making quick changes, as well as a multitude of other tools for designing everything from logos to infographics, complete with stylish font choices that’ll really pop on social media.

Keyword Tool

If you live by the Google, you will die by the Google. It’s been said before and it’ll be said again. Even so, the power and potential of search engines simply cannot be ignored if you want to succeed online. This is true for everyone from bloggers to affiliate marketers, ecommerce people to app developers. If you don’t get noticed, you don’t make money.

Keywords are at the heart of all SEO campaigns, so the aptly-named Keyword Tool is a terrific place to start. In addition to a broad array of geo-specific Google results, you can also research keywords for YouTube, Bing, Amazon and even the App Store. Get ranked, get noticed, and rake in those profits.


You’ve got a lot of usernames and passwords to remember. And these passwords should be complex and unique to every site and service you use. It is just not possible within regular human memory to handle all of that. Stay safe and secure with a password manager like 1Password or LastPass. Manage it all and log into any service you use with just a single click, because you simply cannot rely on yourself to keep it all unique, complex and safe.

Naturally, this list is nowhere near exhaustive. You’ve got social media managers like HootSuite, content management systems like WordPress, collaboration tools like Trello… the list goes on and on. Do you have a favorite online business tool? What is it and why do you love it?

How To Make 6-Figure Monthly Online Income! Download John Chow’s New eBook!

By |December 30th, 2017|Commercial|0 Comments