The Most Powerful Way to Help Someone Through Emotional Pain

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“When you can’t look on the bright side, I will sit with you in the dark.” ~Unknown

I walked in for my monthly massage and immediately sensed something was off.

A layer of desolation hung in the air like an invisible mist, ominous and untouchable, yet so thick I felt as though I could reach out and grab a handful in my fist, like wet cement, oozing out between my fingers.

I’d been seeing the same masseuse once a month for three years, repeating the same routine each time. I wait in the hallway just outside her rented studio, a large walk-in closet size room in a building filled with hundreds of similar rooms, each rented to private individuals running their small passion businesses. Across from her, a wax studio. Down the hall, a hair salon.

The building houses the manifested dreams of men and women who finally had enough of the daily nine-to-five grind, fired their bosses, and defiantly forged their way into their own businesses, renting space big enough for their hopes yet small enough for their start-up pockets.

The appointment started unlike any other. When her door’s closed, it means she’s with another client, so I sit in the hallway, in one of the two wobbly wooden chairs the building provides for each tenant, and wait.

When the door opens and the previous client leaves, we greet with hugs and smiles, expressing mutual joy in seeing each other again. As she closes the door, I take off my clothes and lie on the table face down, exchanging small talk about any happenings since we last saw one another.

Except this time, on this fateful day, the door opened and I was greeted by an overwhelming sense of sorrow spilling out of the room with a vengeance, as if it had been trapped for decades.

Standing in place of my masseuse friend was a lifeless, hollow shell of a person with empty zombie eyes. I hardly recognized her.

Jen (not her real name) was clearly not her usual self.

I’ve seen her in several bad moods throughout the years but this was beyond moods, and bad was too kind a word.

Like me, Jen’s an introverted, sensitive soul, and neither of us have tolerance for inauthenticity or meaningless chit chat. We had long established that she didn’t have to be “on” around me, that she was allowed to take off her professional mask and I my client mask and we could simply be ourselves with each other, neither of us having to endure the torture of polite pleasantries if we didn’t feel like it.

One of my pet peeves is society’s constant pressure and expectation to put on a happy face and pretend everything’s okay while inside things are desperately broken.

So I said “hi” and walked in, neither expecting a return “hi” nor receiving one. She closed the door behind me and tears suddenly welled in my eyes as I undressed, as if sorrow no longer had the means to escape through the open door and found another way out by hitchhiking my tears.

I wanted to respect the present moment, even though I didn’t understand it, so I stayed silent and lay on the table, face down, as I’d always done.

Ten minutes in, between deep long strokes on my back, I heard a soft, almost inaudible, “I lost the girls.”

Jen had been pregnant with twin girls. I remember the day she told me. She could barely wait for me to get through the door before blurting out, “I’m pregnant!” She and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for a while and finally, she was not only pregnant, she was pregnant with twins!

And now, she wasn’t anymore.

I sunk into the massage table as the enormity of what she said dropped into me. And then, I started to get up and tell her that she didn’t have to massage me. We could talk if she wanted, or she could take the extra hour to herself, I’d still pay her. She gently nudged my shoulder back down and said she needed to work; it kept her mind from self-destructing.

She told me that her soul had been emptied along with her womb, and there was nothing left, let alone tears, inside her.

I had enough tears for both of us so I told her I’d cry, for her, her girls, and her loss. For the next forty-five minutes, as she released my knots, I released tears, wails, and guttural sobs. It came and went in waves and I became acutely aware of the rhythm of her breathing as it converged with mine and became one.

Between waves, there were moments of talking.

Like with me, she had met many of her clients with the exciting news that she was pregnant, and like with me, she also had to tell them she was no longer pregnant. Client after client, spread out over weeks, she had to repeat the same story over and over until every client who knew had been caught up.

It was a devastating loss for her, and one she had to retell to each client, all hearing it for the first time, all with similar questions and the same sympathetic side tilting heads in response.

She said her days have been filled with well-intentioned but stale advice like “everything happens for a reason,” and “they’re in a better place now,” and “you’ll get pregnant again.”

She told me each time she heard these statements, it felt like another jab in her weary stomach. She didn’t care about getting pregnant again, better places, or higher reasons. When a mother’s unborn babies have been ripped away from her, no reason could ever make it right.

She wasn’t in the headspace to feel better or think of a brighter future, she simply wanted to be acknowledged for the pain she was going through now, but no one had remained with her in the pain. They had all tried to make her feel better, which only made her feel worse.

In our own discomfort of feeling painful emotions, we try to help others not feel theirs. It’s difficult for us to see someone we love suffering, and naturally, our first impulse is to try to make it go away, whether it’s through reason, logic, distraction, faith or any other means.

We feel helpless, so we desperately reach for what we know, what we’ve been taught, and what others have done to us in our own moments of suffering. We offer trite words that deep down we know won’t help but we hold onto the hope that they will anyway because we don’t know what else to say or do.

The more powerful choice is to simply be with someone, accepting and embracing the painful moment as is, without trying to fix or make it better. It goes against our natural urge to want to help, but often, this present moment acceptance of the deep emotions flowing through a person is exactly what they need to help them move through it, in their own time.

As powerful as it is to shine a light for someone who’s ready to emerge, it is equally powerful to sit with them in the darkness until they’re ready.  

After the session, Jen told me she felt relief for the first time since it happened, as if a weight had been lifted from her. She hadn’t realized it, but with each client, friend, and loved one who tried to make her feel better, she felt a mounting sense of pressure to feel better, as if there was something even more wrong with her for not being able to.

She hadn’t been conscious of the constant pressure until it was gone, in our session, when she was finally allowed to feel exactly as she’d been feeling and was fully accepted in her pain.

Stepping out into the hallway and turning back for a long melting hug, I sensed the profound shift in her energy, vastly different from when I had walked in an hour ago. She was still wounded but there was an element of acceptance in her pain, a faint glow of light within the darkness.

This sacred, healing light only comes as a result of fully embracing the darkness. It can’t be forced, manipulated, or pushed into existence.

This is the true power of accepting our own deep pain and sitting with someone in the dark as they feel theirs.

About Tree Franklyn

Tree Franklyn is a best-selling author and emotional empowerment coach who teaches soul-centered empathic women how to manage their deep, overwhelming emotions so they can reconnect with who they truly are and start creating the life they want. Download a free copy of her Ultimate Emotional Survival Guide for Empaths and Sensitive Souls here.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

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By |January 15th, 2018|Commercial|0 Comments

5 Ways Mindfulness Can Relieve Your Chronic Pain

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You're reading 5 Ways Mindfulness Can Relieve Your Chronic Pain, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

As scientists prove the many benefits of daily mindfulness practice, more Westerners are getting interested in meditation. A recent study found that 8 percent of Americans meditate on a regular basis. Although meditation is one of the most popular mindfulness practices, any exercise that forces a person to pay attention to the present moment could be considered mindfulness - other popular mindfulness techniques include yoga, journaling, and even long walks in nature. The benefits of all mindfulness exercises are the same: better sleep, increased vitality, reduced stress, and, believe it or not, less physical pain.

Mindfulness: A Cure For Chronic Pain?

That's right, many chronic pain patients have found relief from years of suffering by practicing mindfulness on a consistent basis. It might seem odd that consciously sitting with our pain could reduce it over time, but hundreds of studies now prove daily mindfulness practice changes how the brain perceives pain. If you're suffering from a chronic pain condition, you should consider practicing some form of mindfulness every day. Need more convincing? Well then, read the five reasons mindfulness can help relieve physical pain listed below. By the end of this article, you should be thoroughly convinced of the healing power of mindfulness.

1. Learn To Change Your Mind

One way mindfulness benefits people with chronic pain is by helping them see their pain from a new perspective. As you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, you’ll be able to notice a negative thought pattern and change it quickly. With years of mindfulness practice, you’ll start to notice your subconscious mind actually starts generating positive thoughts and emotions. You could also consider supplementing your meditation practice with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT practitioners work with you to recognize unbeneficial thoughts and emotions, analyze why they arise, and, eventually, change them.

2. Easing your Anxiety With Mindfulness

Let’s face it, chronic pain can be stressful. It’s no wonder a majority of chronic pain patients also suffer from mental disorders like anxiety and depression. Thankfully, mindfulness meditation has been shown to help people cope with the stresses chronic pain puts on their lives. By sitting with your anxiety and accepting it without judgment, you’ll find that your mental worries slowly melt away. MRI scans have shown that meditators have less pronounced “fight or flight” centers in their brains. As you decrease your anxiety, you’ll find that it's far easier for you to manage daily tasks.

3. Mindfulness Strengthens Your Intuition

Repressed emotions can manifest as physical pain symptoms. One of the best ways to release these deep emotions is by consistently practicing mindfulness. In addition to watching your thoughts during meditation, journaling and/or talk therapy are great ways to get at the root of what’s causing your pain. People who practice journaling on a regular basis have been shown to have stronger immune systems, less depression, and increased emotional intuition. Whatever form of mindfulness you practice, you’re sure to gain a better understanding of how your subconscious mind is contributing to your physical pain symptoms.

4. Mindfulness Brings You To The Present Moment

Researchers at UC Davis believe one of the main reasons meditators have lower stress levels and their experience of pain is because mindfulness meditation removes two of the main triggers of anxiety: dwelling on the past and worrying about the future. It’s true that mindfulness practice brings us into the “timeless present.” Most people believe they're in the present moment, but oftentimes our minds are somewhere in the future or the past...or even on the moon! Try it for yourself: follow your breath and see just how many subconscious thoughts rise to the surface. This is what Buddhist monks call the “monkey mind.” With dedicated practice, however, you’ll find it easier to let yourself relax in present moment awareness.

5. Less Reactivity Improves The Quality Of Relationships

Unfortunately, one major source of stress in the modern world comes from relationships. Instead of providing emotional support in difficult times, relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners tend to add anxiety to our lives. Luckily, mindfulness practice can teach us valuable listening skills necessary for healthy relationships. Since mindfulness practice stresses the importance of non-judgmental acceptance of the present moment, you will naturally develop more patience and become a better listener. With a heightened sense of your inner life, it will become easier for you to read the emotions of others from a non-judgmental viewpoint. This will make you far better at forgiving others for their faults and resolving conflicts. And believe it or not, numerous studies suggest that there's a huge correlation between a person's ability to forgive and his/her pain symptoms. By learning how to be more open to others through mindfulness practice, you'll easily reduce interpersonal stress with all those around you.

Tips To Get The Most Out Of Mindfulness

Before embarking on your mindfulness journey, you should know that the best way to accrue benefits from mindfulness is to practice it every day. It's far better to practice for 15 minutes every day than to practice all-day sessions only on the weekends. It's a great idea to set a time and prepare a quiet space for daily practice. Thankfully, there are numerous apps you can download that will remind you to practice. A few great mindfulness apps available for free include Calm, MINDBODY, Smiling Mind, and Insight Timer. People with chronic pain might want to consider purchasing the Curable app. This app uses mindbody therapy techniques, including guided mindfulness meditations, to help address your chronic pain symptoms. Also, chronic pain sufferers should incorporate other mindfulness practices in addition to meditation for better results. A few other easy mindfulness techniques include going for a relaxing walk every day or listening to soothing music. If your psychosomatic symptoms are debilitating, you might want to consider seeing a psychologist who specializes in chronic pain.

Incorporate Mindfulness Into Your Life Today

Nobody who commits to mindfulness practice regrets it. There's no doubt that mindfulness has incredible healing potential for people with a wide variety of psychological and physical symptoms. Within a few months of daily practice, you'll be amazed to see the change in your mood and sense of well-being.

You've read 5 Ways Mindfulness Can Relieve Your Chronic Pain, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

By |January 15th, 2018|Commercial|0 Comments

2 Vital Keys to Having a True Breakthrough This Year

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Every person has a great deal of potential within them. However, the majority of people will never tap into that potential because something hinders them from getting it done whether that be a traumatic event that plagues their mind, or a negative mindset. This can be due to fear, insecurities, or of feelings of not deserving or not being good enough.

The list is literally endless because every person has different challenges in life. We are all different people, with different pasts, experiences, backgrounds, belief systems, but one commonality we all share: the pain of NOT DOING in our past.

If you’ve ever been to a conference for business, professional, or spiritual development, you know the feeling of getting fired up, motivated and inspired to go forward and DO! When you get home, the fire in your heart and mind is still burning. Nonetheless, this feeling tends to be short lived, as the reality of life sets in: bills, relationship problems, office issues, etc. and your fire begins to go out and you are back at square one… again.

There are some people that go to an event and then truly have a breakthrough in life. They explode in their business, family life, spiritual life, and health. The one thing that separates these people from the rest of us is their willingness to go deeper within themselves.

If you have attended an Anthony “Tony” Robbins motivational lecture, you know there are many reported success stories of people that he has inspired. Tony has stated in the past that individuals are able to “breakthrough” because they do not accept surface level BS; these successful people go deeper within themselves to determine the root cause of their issues or shortcomings. He also explained that by doing so, they would experience a true “breakthrough.”

If this year is going to truly be different for you, and you are going to see expansion and advancements in all parts of your life, you will need to go deeper.

Here are two important keys to help you have a breakthrough year:

1. Get Real With Yourself

Self-reflection is a powerful character building tool. However, when inspecting your life and who you are, you must go deep into this process. Don’t stay surface level and just think about what you need to improve on. Make the extra effort to think about the why of it all. Why are you weak in certain areas? Why do you seem to always fall short when doing certain tasks? Why do you dislike specific types of people and or places? Most importantly, why do you lack motivation in crucial aspects of your life?

When you start asking these types of profound questions and digging deeper, you are able to realize that there may be hidden reasons for your life constraints. Sometimes, pain in our past and heart-rending experiences of life are responsible for our weaknesses.

The challenge is to visit these places mentally and resolve root causes. Having these moments of reflection enables us to experience some very personal and self teachable moments. It is in these moments that true clarity will come and you will make decisions about where to go from here based on level headed logic rather than simply pure emotion.

Getting to know yourself better will help you in your personal and professional growth and help you to fast-track the breakthrough you desire.

“Self awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life without any attachment to it being right or wrong, good or bad.” – Debbie Ford

2. Get Real with Others

Knowing yourself is vital, but knowing the people and the environment around you is also crucial. We’ve all heard the old saying, “hang around dogs with fleas and you’ll soon have fleas as well.” If you’re going to breakthrough this year, you better get to doing not only some self-reflection but also some social-reflection. Look around yourself and find out who and what is having a positive or negative impact on your life.

Are you exposed to people who are constantly complaining, talking bad about others, criticizing people, belittling others, and just outright being negative? If so, their negative viewpoints need to be either dismissed in your mind, and/or you should minimize the amount of time and attention that they take from you.

Tasks, habits, and extracurricular activities which provide no greater value for you should be reconsidered. Not that you shouldn’t have some down time and moments to recharge, but be careful about scrolling social media aimlessly and indulging in online window shopping. Such activities are not adding to your expansion or ascension up to the next level of life; rather they are wasting your time.

We have a total of 100% energy to give per day (a cellphone example). Just like the apps we have running in the background, they tend to drain us of our energy. Everything we take part in requires some percentage of energy investment from us. You must choose to dedicate energy to things and people that are part of your solution in helping you move the needle towards your goals. One simple question to ask yourself, and that all true leaders must ask themselves is: Does THIS propel me closer TOWARDS my goal or AWAY from it?

“Surround yourself with people who are only going to lift you higher.” – Oprah Winfrey

So, get real with the situation at hand: you either want to have a breakthrough year or you don’t. If you do, you should size-up your expectations, and key on these two important areas of your life: who you are on the inside, and the people and things around you that impact who you are.

What are you going to do this year to make sure you have the best year of your life! Comment below and share your goals.

By |January 14th, 2018|Commercial|0 Comments

4 Traditional Growth Hacking Approaches

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I’m shocked at how many people don’t know the full concept of growth hacking but have been applying it to their blogging for several years. For example, growth hacking can be seen almost everywhere and it’s been proven to produce enormous conversions quickly. Before I continue, here is a quick definition:

“Growth hacking is a marketing technique developed by technology startups which uses creativity, analytical thinking, and social metrics to sell products and gain exposure.” This definition is provided by

Instead of using traditional marketing strategies, bloggers are looking for more innovative, low-cost strategies that provide a higher ROI. It’s amazing what some people have come up with and how high they are able to increase conversion rates. Many of the techniques utilized are those that require very little budget like social media, content marketing, guest blogging, etc. Today, I’ll like to talk about “4” popular growth hacking strategies you can apply to your blog to make the most out of your “growth hacking” strategy.

Let’s jump right in…

Content Marketing

We’ve heard this phrase so many times and it’s hard to believe this is a very popular “growth hacking” approach. Through content marketing, you’re finding creative ways to market your products that are both cost effective and high in ROI. The content will be blog-based but your focus will be targeted to the product or service you are selling. For example, if I’m selling a “link building” tool, then instead of buying expensive banner advertising, I would write content focused on the following:

  • Product use
  • Product benefits
  • How it will you meet your objective
  • How it will add to your bottom line

Content is a very cheap and effective way to market your product or business so make sure you use the right elements when starting. This means to test different formats until you find out one which works at increasing conversions

Search Engine Optimization

You can never go wrong with search engine optimization because it’s another cost effective way to market your business. The only problem is it does take time to implement and can take months before you start noticing an increase in traffic. However, if you are a beginner and are looking for an effective way to market through growth hacking, then SEO is definitely the way to go. First, you can enable yourself enormous FREE search engine traffic that is targeted and will convert. Secondly, after you have ranked high in the SERP’s, it takes very little work top stay on the top page because you’ve already built your credibility. Third, depending on your keywords, you can attract high volume traffic perfect for conversions.

SEO does take some time to learn so I encourage everyone to pay close attention to the lessons and resources so it’s done correctly and you don’t get penalized going forward.

Mobile Email Marketing

Mobile marketing can be directly related to email subscribers because both are a cost effective way to generate ROI. As you collect email subscribers, you can leverage email follow-ups to promote your products and services. The actual initial cost will be associated with collecting subscribers, but after that, it can be a huge profit generator. However, for you to effective use this strategy, it’s important you keep a close eye on the following:

  • Quality of content
  • Compatibility of newsletters with mobile phones
  • Quick call-to-actions
  • Keeping track and data

Mobile usage has increased over the last several years and many ESP are now offering compatible templates so you can keep engagement consistent. Make sure you keep track of all your data so you can keep marketing and promoting content, products, and services that actually have a huge ROI.

Social Media (WOW)

I can’t talk about a more effective way to promote your content through “growth hacking”. First, social media is FREE and it can drive huge amounts niche relevant people to your blog quickly. Secondly, you can find many authority bloggers from your niche you can network with, getting them to share your content on their social network. Some authority bloggers have 100K followers and this can be huge for traffic and ROI. For example, in my niche, John Chow has over 100K followers and a quick mention from him can generate enormous buzz. However, it’s important to be genuine in your approach. Third, social media continues to grow each year so it’s not going to disappear and will continue to play a vital role over the years in generating traffic to your blog.

If you don’t have a social media account, then I encourage all of you to create accounts on the “3” most popular ones like Facebook, Twitter, and Google+. Keep testing to find out how they help you and your business because if you need to add or remove social networks, then you can at a later time.

Click Here To Download John Chow’s New eBook, The Ultimate Online Profit Model!

By |January 14th, 2018|Commercial|0 Comments

Knowledge Commerce: The Business of Selling Your Expertise

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Affiliate marketing, blogging, eCommerce, multi-level marketing, biz opps… whatever you want to call it, it seems like there is a name out there for every type of business model out there.

Something we’ve been seeing more and more recently is the business of selling ‘expertise’, and some bloggers and online marketers are generating millions of dollars from it! A perfect example of this can be seen through John Chow and how he is selling his expertise on how to find success with not only blogging, but also affiliate marketing, lead generation, and his referrals to MOBE.

While all of that can be segmented into a bunch of different categories, there is a new term that is floating around in reference to ‘selling your expertise’ — and that’s “Knowledge Commerce”.

The name is actually quite fitting, as this new trend of selling an expertise through online courses, videos, PDFs, private members blogs and even consulting, just seems to be growing year after year. Another reason why we are seeing such massive growth in this space is that it’s really easy for anyone to get started and selling online.

Kajabi is actually the company that came up with the name ‘knowledge commerce’ and they are coining it as their own and making it one of the main focuses at their business today. Through the information on their site and in their latest video, we can look at the following industry stats and get an idea of were online selling and making a business of our an expertise is headed.

An Untapped $245 Billion Industry that Keeps Growing

Jonathan Cronstedt, President of Kajabi, recently came out with a video that talked about the power of selling online and how there is now a massive $165 billion industry solely on the business model of selling information and expertise. What’s even crazier is that the number is projected to exceed more than $245 billion by 2020.

To put that in perspective, that is enough for 243,000 entrepreneurs, bloggers, marketers and business owners to have a million dollar businesses on their own!

Women are Making their Own Future in the World of Entrepreneurship

It’s no surprise that women are still making less money than men in the workplace. However, with more women making their way into the world of entrepreneurship and starting online businesses of their own, they are quickly finding themselves in complete control over how much they can make, and their earnings potential over time.

This is something else Kajabi touched on when they referenced:

Our research has also shown that Knowledge Commerce represents an excellent point of entry for women who want to start their own businesses. Nearly 900 million women will enter the workforce in new ways by 2020.

For online marketers and bloggers, this is really no surprise. While it might seem like the business world is still heavily dominated by a male presence, there are many independent women entrepreneurs online who have built amazing blogs, brands, and followings for themselves, while also generating a lot of money in the process.

The Internet is Expanding in All Areas

While it might seem like you’ve been on the internet forever, there are still many people getting online for the first time every day. To make this picture even clearer, don’t think about just people getting online for the first time, instead, think about how many people are searching for ‘how to make money’ or ‘start a business’ online for the first time. That is where the real potential lies.

It’s estimated that between 3 and 5 billion consumers are going to enter into this marketing within the next few years, and many of them are looking to become entrepreneurs and start businesses of their own. Yes, many will start traditional service and product based company, but many others will also focus on the business of selling their expertise.

This can also be seen when you look at the world of freelance — whether it be writing, designing, or whatever. Many freelancers start out working for others, then get so good at it, they become businesses of their own. Experts project that 40 percent of workers will be non-traditional employees by the year 2020.

Now is the Time to Start Selling Your Expertise and Turning it into a Business

One of the best decisions that I made years ago was to no longer focus on just ‘being an affiliate marketer’. For this to happen, I needed to start a new foundation and brand of my own. So that is exactly what I did when I launched

Ten years later and the blog has not only become a huge success, it’s also launched into many different areas and allowed me to start multiple businesses based on my experiences and expertise as well.

This is exactly what we are talking about when we are referencing to ‘Knowledge Commerce’. Not only is ‘knowledge power’…. it’s a whole lot of big money too!

By |January 14th, 2018|Commercial|0 Comments

Should I Buy A Tesla Model 3?

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Tesla Motors has sent me an email telling me the Model 3 I reserved months ago is now ready for production. Should I go ahead and order the car or should I get something else?

As luck with have it, the Tesla Model 3 was on displayed at today’s Cars and Coffee! Enjoy the Vlog and remember to subscribe so you don’t miss a single episode.

How To Live The Ultimate Dot Com Lifestyle

I have many internet products and services that makes me money while I’m sleeping. Continuity affiliate programs like Aweber, LeadPages, ClickFunnel, MOBE, and others ensure a steady flow of income no matter what I’m doing or where I am in the world. Of all the programs, MOBE has consistently been one of the highest earners. It’s the program I recommend for new and experienced Internet marketers.

The best way to start is by applying for the 21 Step System. This is a step by step system that I created with MOBE to help you make your first $1,250, $3,300, $5,500, and even $10,000 online. In addition to the steps, you’ll also be given a one-on-one coach who will help you get started on the right track. I can’t promise that you’ll make $1.5 million a year, but you will make money if you follow the steps and plug in with your coach.

Click Here To Download John Chow’s New eBook, The Ultimate Online Profit Model!

By |January 14th, 2018|Commercial|0 Comments

5 Steps to Help You Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs & Live Your Most Powerful Life

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When it comes to finding success in life our limiting beliefs can be one of the biggest trip-ups we face. They wall us in and continually place a ceiling on our potential. What’s more, as success begins to evade us because of these limited thoughts, we unknowingly strengthen them. It’s as if they look back at us to say, “I told you so.” In this manner, limiting beliefs are self-reinforcing.

They grow stronger and we feel weaker and less empowered to find success. It’s understandable that if they go unchecked for too long we can begin to feel deep frustration and hopelessness which can eventually lead to anger, self-hatred, and even depression.But it is possible to put our limiting beliefs in-check and find the freedom to pursue our purpose and maximize our potential.

If you’re ready to overcome your limiting beliefs and live your most powerful life, try these five steps:

1. Identify Your Limiting Beliefs

The first step to rectifying any situation is to get a clear handle on what’s wrong. It’s no different here. To overcome your limiting beliefs you first need to shine a spotlight on them. Most of your limiting beliefs will be relatively easy to identify. They should be—these are the types of beliefs you regularly beat yourself up over, after all.

But once you have your limiting beliefs identified make sure to write them down. There is something about “seeing” our problems in a tangible way that empowers us to better respond to them. In some cases, they begin to immediately lose their effectiveness over us just because we can see them for the illusions they are.

“You begin to fly when you let go of self-limiting beliefs and allow your mind and aspirations to rise to greater heights.” ―Brian Tracy

2. Acknowledge Them

Having the ability to view our limits helps us advance to the next step, acknowledgment. In this phase, we don’t just see our limiting beliefs in simple black-and-white—we acknowledge them for what they are, the harm they have done, and admit that we have taken part in their creation.

It’s almost as if we can have a dialog with them. By doing so we open the lines of communication and, as we all know, communication is crucial for any breakthrough. This step helps us understand our limiting beliefs better allowing us a clearer path moving forward.

It is also an especially critical step because by acknowledging our responsibility, we empower ourselves to change. No one ever gains victory over problems without taking responsibility for having them or for doing the work to resolve them.

3. Confront The Beliefs

We can only conquer our limiting beliefs by confronting them. The reason they grow so troublesome for us in the first place is simply that they go unchallenged. We often “assume” them without question.

Rather than deal with the struggle of this confrontation we develop an almost co-dependent relationship with them. We guard our limiting beliefs and justify them if they are ever questioned. But our beliefs will continue to grow and strengthen unless we challenge them.

If this is a difficult process for you to do by yourself, a counselor or coach can be helpful. If not with a professional, then at least let your beliefs be open to scrutiny by a trusted friend or significant other.

With your written list, work through as many reasons to call B.S. as you can think of. Write them out and present your argument. This doesn’t have to be a quick process, take as much time as necessary to make your case. Especially with the help of another person, you will begin to see all of the ways in which your beliefs aren’t true and find all of the reasons you need to believe you can succeed.

4. Replace Them With Unlimited Beliefs

To move forward effectively, you can’t just drop your limiting beliefs and get back to life as usual. In order to reach your most powerful life, you’ve got replace the old, limiting beliefs with new, empowering ones.

If one of your limiting beliefs was, “I don’t deserve success because of xyz,” you need to replace it with, “I do deserve success because of abc,” and then list out all the reasons why.

It’s such a simple step but so many people neglect it. They’re just so happy to be rid of their old limiting beliefs, I guess. But what good is it to just be neutral? You’ve got to create an upgrade for every belief you just tore down. You’ve got to replace the limited ones with unlimited.

On that list, you created earlier, or on a new page if you’ve run out of room, write out your empowering, replacement beliefs. Keep going until each one is now optimized with a belief that removes those old limits you placed on yourself.

“Do the uncomfortable. Become comfortable with these acts. Prove to yourself that your limiting beliefs die a quick death if you will simply do what you feel uncomfortable doing.” ―Darren Rowse

5. Use Your New Beliefs To Find Success

You’ve got just one more step to go and that is to implement your new beliefs. Put your full faith in them as if they will succeed because they will. Use your fresh, new enthusiasm to push you through to success in areas where you only saw limitation before.

You will not fail because when we truly believe we are capable of success that is what we achieve. Be encouraged—every new success you have will only strengthen your beliefs. Congratulations, you are now on your way to living your most powerful life!

What are you doing today to make the most of your life? Comment below!

By |January 14th, 2018|Commercial|0 Comments

Why You Need To Create an End of Work Day Routine

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A topic that I have covered extensively on my own blog, and a topic that I will likely continue to revisit from different angles for years to come, is the notion of finding some sort of balance when working from home. I come from the perspective of my running my own freelance writing business for the last 10+ years, but the fundamental mentality is much the same regardless of the kind of work that you do, whether that’s affiliate marketing, mobile app development or whatever else.

From the outside looking in, running your own business from the “comfort” and “convenience” of your own home office can sound awfully appealing. This is especially the case if you currently endure a particularly long and grueling commute to your regular place of work. I’m not here to tell you that a home office is necessarily superior or inferior to coworking spaces or anything like that, but I would like to explore some of the work-life balance dynamics that are involved with having a home office.

All Work and No Play Make…

If you’ve been at this game for any length of time and if you’re anything like me, then you’ve likely experienced the same kind of mental anguish, feeling like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. This conundrum has become substantially more pronounced since I became a father, since I’ve taken on the additional responsibilities of being a full-time stay-at-home dad, in addition to my duties as a professional writer and blogger.

The crux of the situation is this:

Because I *can* work at *any* time, I feel like I *must* work *all* the time.

Have you ever had that feeling? You’re sitting on the couch, watching Netflix or reading a book, but in the back of your mind, you’ve got a work-related task nagging at you. Do you feel guilty for taking an extra long lunch break, because you know that you really should be working on that ebook or online course instead?

Life Gets in the Way?

“Regular” things in your life can force breaks upon you, like getting together with your family for lunch or dinner. But they’re not really enough. How many times have you left your computer on in your home office as you walked over to the dining room for dinner? You told yourself that you’re probably “done for the day,” but you’re going to leave the computer on “just in case” you want to do something later.

Maybe you tell yourself that you’re done working for the day, but you want to leave your computer on so you can watch some Netflix or play some video games later. And that could be one big lie you’re telling yourself, because the hustling go-getter that you are, you start working on a new blog post and suddenly it’s past midnight.

I Got Hustle Though

This post isn’t for slackers and procrastinators. If you don’t have that unwavering burning desire to get more done, this isn’t the post for you. For the rest of us, shutting it down for the day is actually one of the greatest challenges, because we always want to do more and accomplish more.

So, what’s the solution?

You can probably guess from the title of this post. Despite what you may think about your personality and preferences otherwise, the human brain is wired to prefer predictable routines.

You ever wonder why so many professional baseball players go through a specific, superstitious routine every time they step up to bat? The same reason why so many professional basketball players have a free throw routine or professional golfers have a routine every time they step up to the tee. Michael Phelps developed a day-long routine for every competition day and the hardware he has collected speaks for itself.

The same is true with training your brain to understand you are done with work for the day. The actual specifics of the routine don’t matter as much as your dedication to stick to the same steps every day, every time. Shut down the computer, turn off the monitors and speakers, turn your office chair a certain way, and drink a glass of water while staring out your window. It doesn’t matter. Just do the same thing every time.

Start Menu -> Power -> Shut Down

By creating a consistent “end of work day” routine, you are better able to fend off those desires to check your email one last time or skim your RSS feeds for just a couple minutes. If you’re done for the day, you’re done for the day. And you can have a far more productive tomorrow.

Click Here To Download John Chow’s New eBook, The Ultimate Online Profit Model!

By |January 13th, 2018|Commercial|0 Comments

The Problem with Too Much Outsourcing

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Outsourcing work has become a huge part of online marketing. These days, the ability to have tasks done for a fraction of the cost has made it very easy to find quality workers quickly and efficiently. Think about how many “freelance” websites have popped up in recent years and have been flourishing because bloggers, designers, and developers all understand how outsourcing can save you enormous time and money. Either way, it’s a practice used by millions and I must admit, I’ve freelanced a lot of work previously and continue to do so today. However, I’ve learned a few valuable lessons along the way, which I’d like to share with you today. For example, outsourcing can do some harm if NOT done with control. I’ll be discussing some reasons a bit later, however, it’s been a common problem seen by many. Next, outsourcing can cost you a lot more money and money because you might NOT be able to get EXACTLY the type of work you’re looking to get done correctly.

Whatever the case, outsourcing work can get in the way of business growth and I’m here to discuss a few issues often associated with this practice. Let’s get started…

Outsourcing – Business Background. Blue Arrow with “Outsourcing” Slogan on a Grey Background. 3D Render.

Dilute Brand

One of the biggest problems often seen when you start to freelance your work is your brand diluting. What do I mean? You start having others represent your brand while promoting theirs, which can have a huge effect on the amount of people aware of your business. When outsourcing work, many people are MORE than happy to write for FREE or give you a discount if they are able to add links back to their website. Depending on your budget, you might actually agree and this means visitors are seeing other brands on your website. You have to be careful when you freelancing your work out and even more careful about the terms. Here’s what I recommend to offset this effect…

  • Tell them you own the work and content so NO link given back to your blog

You’ll be surprised how many people will agree because in the end, it’s work for them and they need the income. This is especially true in places like India, Pakistan, Romania, etc., where they are very smart coders and USD translates into a huge payday. I’ve worked with people in the past where NO credit was given but I made sure they were compensated well for their time.

Skills Deteriorate

When you start outsourcing your work out, you run into a problem of skill deterioration depending on what you’re using less of. For example, when I started to freelance much of my content writing to other writers, I noticed I wasn’t as comfortable with writing content as I once was. I had a hard time getting back into the groove of things, which can be a problem if you NO longer have writers available. Because I didn’t have to write content as much, I didn’t perform research throughout the time I was off and lost track of the trends. When it came time to jump back into content writing, I found it hard to catch up on when I fell back. This is why I recommend the following…

  • Keep an active writing, coding, and designing schedule (will depend on your niche)
  • Always stay active and publish every 2-3 days
  • Keep your brand and business on your mind while understanding the importance of your objective

A good example of this is John Chow.

He has hired staff writers who will submit content on a regular basis, however, John continues to publish content every 2 days so he stays active and people are actively aware of his brand.

Strain Your Budget

It’s amazing how small outsourcing costs will add up and this can run you enormous money monthly. This is not a problem for those bloggers who have been around for years, but for those starting out, it can be hard on your marketing budget. With that said, you have to keep an eye on your budget, making sure you don’t go way overboard and have to suffer going forward. This is why it’s important to only outsource what you really need done, making sure the rest of the tasks are done by you. It’s your business and you should never just sit back and expect others to do your work for you. It’s a great way to be lazy about your business and lose track of what’s important. Either way, you can have a few safety barriers in the way to protect you, like, for example…

  • Only keep a certain amount of money in your marketing account
  • Practice discipline, making sure you know what’s important and needs to be outsourced
  • When hiring people, always negotiate to get the best price possible because this will help knock down the price

Click Here To Download John Chow’s New eBook, The Ultimate Online Profit Model!

By |January 13th, 2018|Commercial|0 Comments

Dot Com Lifestyle Vlog – Made $76,566.37 – I’m Going Car Shopping!

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2018 is starting off really great (made $76,566.37 with just MOBE alone), so I’m going to reward myself with a new car! I head over to Mercedes Benz to check out the AMG GTR and what has to be the most powerful station wagon in the world! Enjoy the vlog and remember to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode!

MOBE has become my #1 online money-making system. It has allowed me to live Dot Com Lifestyle, drive $250K of cars for free, send Sally to one of the Top 50 private schools in America, and buy a $2 million house for cash.

Can I Really Do This Business?

One of the most common questions I get from people who are thinking about joining MOBE is, “Will all of this work for me?” and “Can I really do this business?” The answer is, regardless of your age, background, where you’re from, or your experience level, you can do this business. You can start your own online business, and be successful at it.

Your first first step is to download my ebook, the Ultimate Online Profit Model. This details the business systems I use to make six-figure monthly income and live the Dot Com Lifestyle.

Attend The IM Freedom Workshop

If you wish to talk to an expert face to face about Internet marketing, then I invite you attend a live IM Freedom Workshop in your area.

Each workshop will have both an afternoon session and an evening session. Find the workshop that’s most convenient to you, and register now. Space is limited. Tickets are given out on a first come, first served basis. You must be pre-registered to attend. There is no on-site registration. Find the closest workshop here.

Apply for My Ultimate Dot Com Lifestyle Coaching Program

If you’re truly ready to move forward and make a positive change in your financial future, then go applying for my Ultimate Dot Com Lifestyle coaching program.

This is a 21 step system I created with MOBE to help you make your first $1,250, $3,300, $5,500, and even $10,000 online. You’ll also be given a one on one coach who will work with you, and answer any questions you may have. All you have to do is follow the system and do what your coach advises. You may not pull down $1.65 million in a year like I did, but it’s pretty easy to make $1,000 a month from it.

The application fee is one time $49, and allows you to go through all 21 steps. I recommend you go through the steps, then decide if this is something you want to do. If it is, great! Welcome aboard. If you decided this is not something you want to do at this time, then get a refund and go on with your life. I can’t make it simpler than that.

Click Here To Download John Chow’s New eBook, The Ultimate Online Profit Model!

By |January 13th, 2018|Commercial|0 Comments